I Am Not A Flotation Device

Right. I am a terrible friend. 10 years ago you were the age I am now. I am sorry I missed it. I would have been 21. I was a shot of life.
I should write something about an elephant for you. I should play Tiger Woods on Wii with you. I should make you a sandwich and make sure the mustard is in perfect amounts on every bite. I should turn back time a couple weeks and tell you hello. I am sorry.
I am disgusting.
There was a time though.
I am suddenly the go to guy for advice. Everyone is pulling. Everyone wants. Everyone asks me for something. I give, and nothing is heard. I give and nothing is returned.
I have a thing with the FBI again in a day or so. I am not even sure I want to do it. But I do need a job. No one else seems interested in me.
I like grilled cheese.
I am going to quit drinking.
I am going to try to run again.
I can take beatings.
I saw an elephant once. He was big and grey and looked at me. He lowered his head and we held eye contact for a minute. We starred at one another. I expected a noise. I expected movement. I expected something. Instead, he just walked away. His eyes looked familiar.
People are funny. We care about things that I do not understand. We seem to like things I do not. I understand though, it is me not everyone else. I am fucked up.