Shine On You Crazy Fucktard
Right. I can't believe we are already to number 49. Stop the fucking presses, it's Al Gore. Dipshit extraordinaire. Global warming my dickhead. Guess what there asshat, it's late fucking March and it's snowing like a cocksucker outside. But wait, that's the cause of global warming. So when it is hotter than one would like, it's global warming. When it gets bitter and cold, it's global warming. Well doesn't that just beat all? No matter what happens, it proves the theory right. Well fuck.Go to hell with that shit.
I have a theory. It's called "Al Gore is a child molester." I have no proof he is a child molester, but I am sure I can make a movie about it.
I hate you more than Fergie. How do you feel about yourself? You probably feel pretty well considering you think it must be the heat (or cold) that makes me think this way. But you are a douche bag. But never fear there Cockface, I hate 48 people more than you. But I really hate you.
Also, you never replied to my letters asking you to pay off my student loans. So fuck you. A simple "no" would have sufficed. Asshat.
Can you believe that the Colonel didn't wish to speak to me today? I think that bodes badly for me. We will see. It also sucked that I didn't drink for breakfast or lunch and he didn't speak to me. My liver hurts because it didn't have a job to do today. My liver likes to work.
It's not that I've had a bad time, it's more 4 years of being at the needs of someone else is taxing. I'd like to focus on my needs. That and I can never use my brain. I feel like I can't even breathe. I like my brain. I don't like suffocating.
I think if Elvis were alive today, he'd still get laid more than me. Laid by non-brothel working girls that is.
I get hangnails close to every other day.
I like water. I miss Aquafina. That was some refreshing water. Dasani sucked. And fuck a bunch of Evian. Aquafina is the shizzle. I am a water snob.
I wish I had a wooden leg. I wish I would then loose my wooden leg. Mainly because, how many people can say they lost the same leg twice? Just me. Then I'd get a stick and a pair of binoculars and maybe some cans of tuna and possibly a hat and go adventuring in an attempt to find my wooden leg. It would be good times. But a fucking dog has probably found my wooden leg already. He chewed on the fucker too. It wont fit right and I'd just end up giving the dog my leg. But I would have found this cool beer can from the 1950's. It's neat. I'd put it above my fireplace and tell everyone that I lost a leg but gained that can. They might think I'm crazy. But they don't have the can. And they won't get it when I die either. I want to be buried with that shit.
My Ipod is a jerk. It decides at random times that it will stop working. Only it will stay on. So I have to wait for the battery to drain before I can charge or listen to it. Then at other times it decides to freeze my computer when I want to charge it. And sometimes it opts to not let me unplug it from the computer, forcing me to try to reset it 50,000,000,000 times. When it does work it does other stupid shit. Like play nothing but Norah Jones and Boards of Canada when I am running or working out. Then the second I want to go to sleep, it's all Civ and the Clash and Motorhead and shit. What the fuck Ipod?
Labels: the greatest shit ever
posted by Yossarian at 10:55 AM
8 Comments:
civ, that is a loooooooooong time ago.
well let me tell you, i had to set my fuckin' goals today when i will process 393 pages of texas lisc jurisprudence.
K/Yoss, i've done a little more than half it is killing my soul. not like r&b soul, but soul soul.
In the memo, McQuery said that unless the Sizzler threat was addressed, his office wouldn't approve test plans necessary for production to begin on several other projects, including Northrop Grumman Corp.'s new $35.8 billion CVN-21 aircraft-carrier project; the $36.5 billion DDG-1000 destroyer project being developed by Northrop and General Dynamics Corp.; and two Raytheon Corp. projects, the $6 billion Standard Missile-6 and $1.1 billion Ship Self Defense System.
Charts prepared by the Navy for a February 2005 briefing for defense contractors said the Sizzler, which is also called the SS-N-27B, starts out flying at subsonic speeds. Within 10 nautical miles of its target, a rocket-propelled warhead separates and accelerates to three times the speed of sound, flying no more than 10 meters (33 feet) above sea level.
On final approach, the missile ``has the potential to perform very high defensive maneuvers,'' including sharp-angled dodges, the Office of Naval Intelligence said in a manual on worldwide maritime threats.
The Sizzler is ``unique,'' the Defense Science Board, an independent agency within the Pentagon that provides assessments of major defense issues, said in an October 2005 report. Most anti-ship cruise missiles fly below the speed of sound and on a straight path, making them easier to track and target.
The Sizzler's Russian maker, state-run Novator Design Bureau in Yekaterinburg, is ``aggressively marketing'' the weapon at international arms shows, said Steve Zaloga, a missile analyst with the Teal Group, a Fairfax, Virginia-based defense research organization. Among other venues, the missile was pitched at last month's IDEX 2007, the Middle East's largest weapons exposition, he said.
China raised its military budget by 17.8 percent this year to about $45 billion — the biggest jump since 1995. The Pentagon says actual Chinese defense spending could be twice as high.
The spending boost and January's satellite test, in which China became only the third country to destroy an object in space by pulverizing one of its own unused satellites with a missile warhead, heightened the sense of unease in Washington over China's 2.3 million-member armed forces.
the wooden leg thing is greatness.
-jades
i hit your girl like WHAM!
If you're going to hate Gore for saying shit that's true, you'd better ream Bush for his 6+ year stream of brainless bullshit.
I'll be waiting.
GOTDAM! You mean that Gore has been telling me lies? And him being a democrat and all? Shit. And I had these plans to build me a marina here on sweetthing's half acre..we are in Florida see? And only about five miles from the coast and 13 feet above the current sea level. Well, with this global warming I was gonna have ocean front property. Damn Gore to hell for them lies..and thankyou for exposing them. I wuz all set to borrow money on sweetthig's half acre and build a dock on the west frontage..
top of Tatiana's head is attached to the back of Anastasia's. Twins born joined at the head — called craniopagus twins — are extremely rare, occurring in about 1 in 2.5 million births.
The separation carries many risks — including the possibility of brain damage, stroke or a deadly amount of blood loss — but doctors say the twins cannot continue to live as they are. Not only is it awkward, but their conjoined condition would lead to a variety of medical problems.
"Without separation, the girls won't make it," said Dr. Kenneth Salyer, the plastic surgeon who founded the World Craniofacial Foundation and serves as chairman of the board. "And with separation it's a high-risk operation."
The twins and their parents will travel in April to Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio, where a team of doctors will separate the girls in stages
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