I'd Advise You Not To Trust That Ho

Right. Number 42 is none other than the Pope. Mark ass busta. I mean, I don't know. He's the Pope. The boss of the Holy See. But I mean come on here people, he's German and German people suck. He is also like 300, so he was part of the Hitler Youth. I don't know. We Catholic peeps have had enough bad dap for a while, do we really need a former Nazi as our figure head? I don't know. It's hard to hate a man for what he's not as opposed to what he is. And I hate the Pope for what he is not.
Paris ruled. I rule. I ought to be paid to travel the world, because tourist bitches love my shit. The only time a woman even looks at me is if she is on vacation. The food in France is so much better than stupid German food. Also, tourist bitches are hot. I am the tourist bitches pimp.
I spit off the Eiffel Tower. I did a pull up on the Eiffel Tower. I did a pull up in the Louvre. I spent Easter morning at mass in Notre Dame. When one considers I spent Christmas Day at the Vatican, I think it's safe to say I am the greatest catholic ever.
French people aren't as rude as I thought they'd be. Tourist bitches love my shit. And tourist bitches are hot.
The lines for the Eiffel Tower were so long it was stupid. So I just walked the lines shucking and jiving with people until I got 20 people who were tired of waiting in line, took us all over to the group tour line and bing bang biganja, got up that shit in like 1/8 of the time.
All in all I had a great time in Paris. I wanted to spend more time at the Louvre, but the people I was with were bored. Also, my favorite part of going on trips, is buying shit from the gypsy vendors on the street, and the people I was with wouldn't let me. So I have no cool Paris crap I bought from a shady Turk. Bummer.
I did however, drink a boatload of Gin and fuck a hooker. I was so drunk I didn't cum. It sucked. She didn't, which is why I didn't cum. She was from Morocco or some shit. I think she stole my 4 leaf clover. Whore.
I also came up with the greatest idea ever. Not so much an idea as a plan of action. From now on instead of calling my trips, "trips" or "vacations," I will call them "jobs." So I just finished the Paris job. I am now planning the Athens job. Then come the Cairo job. I also decided that on the Athens Job, I will carry a brief case and handcuff it to me. I've always wanted to do that.
Cocaine needs to get his ass on myspace and be my friend.
Yankees Rule.
Yossarian out.