I'd Do It If I Could

Right. From here on out I will refrain from suggesting rioting of any kind on any city street as yesterday I think I may have said something Morrissey said, and London is bombed. Actually, fuck it; let's riot on the streets of wherever the fuck Cameron Diaz is. I hate her. Or let’s end this bullshit now and riot in the cave where Osama is hiding out. Oh wait we can't, laws prohibit us from going into that sovereign nation we still call an ally and whose military officers we still train. Fuck, even Afghanistan asked us to come in there.
Breathe.
Are the pietasters dead? Where the fuck are they?
I think something went wrong with my computers speakers. I used to be able to rock out to my I tunes, now nothing. I can barley hear it. I need a stereo, or an I Pod, or something.
I had a dream the shit hit the fan last night.
Here is a funny thing about my life. Remember how I told you they are turning the playground I live near into a gas station. Well they decided to start this morning at three. This translates into my day starting at 4:30 AM, ending at 5 PM, me becoming sleepy around 8, then doing everything I need to until 10 and now being woke up an hour an a half earlier because we don't want to let the children play. Fuckers.
Afternoon delight.
I wish football season would start. I am not bullshiting when I say this.
What is the status on the Tour De France? I don't understand the race. How can you finish 37th and place 3rd? Fucking frogs. Leave it to the French to consider losing winning.
So I went to subway yesterday because the Taco Bell here doesn't sell chili-cheese burritos. What the shit is that about? Anyway, the girl making my tuna sandwich was real flirtatious. It was nice but I was thinking, "Damn, this woman has to be like 40." Now that isn't a bad thing. Older women rule and I would love nothing more than to expunge seed on one. But she looked unhealthy. So I ask, I ask how old she is, is what I ask. She says she is 23. Sweet merciful crap, she is younger than me and is haggard beyond belief. I think to myself, what is this bitch doing to look so old. Maybe it's genetics. Maybe it's stress. Maybe she is just having a really bad day. Maybe she has some weird disease where she ages really fast and this is a result of something Wal Mart has done and she is waiting for her big fat payday. Now I will admit that while the last possible is highly improbable, it is the most attractive.