That Cab Has A Dent In It

Right. They are trying to kill me. I swear to God. I cannot die though. The reasons I cannot die are numerous. Mainly it is because I am eternal and also because I cannot die without her. Since I won't let anything harm her, well, you see the problem in them trying to kill me. Their effort is moot, because I will use their jugulars as tourniquets. I am evil incarnate. Yet, not evil at all, which makes me evil. I am so just, so right, so inspired, so determined and so merciful that I am the opposite. I am the pariah that brings rapture. Try your best. But I will always be around.
I am beginning to hate this shit. It's one soul-crushing defeat after another.
I have a problem. I need a solution. I hate this problem. I don't like the solution.
I want some bacon. Seriously. Bacon. Bacon wrapped bacon. Fuck. Bacon.
I require some next level shit this weekend.
Copenhagen is the greatest and best thing ever to happen to me.
There is this girl right. She may or may not be hot. She may or may not have blue eyes. She may or may not have brown hair. She may or may not have an education. She may or may not dress in business attire. She may or may not look dope as hell when she lets her hair down. She may or may not read. She may or may not have a spine. She may or may not have something to say. She may or may not like to drink and catch a fucking in the alley on the walk from one bar to another. She may or may not run in the morning. She may or may not make me feel bad for smoking. She may or may not be unaware of my dipping. She may or may not look past all I hate about myself. She may or may not buy a dog. She may or may not hate holidays as much as I do. She may or may not want to buy me cool shit. She may or may not have a problem with me going through phases where I sing instead of talk. She may or may not give handjobs at the movies. She may or may not wear as little makeup as possible. She may or may not roll her eyes and smile. She may or may not order stupid shit in restaurants and from catalogs. She may or may not have a problem with me buying a pet jaguar. She may or may not believe my get rich quick schemes involving emu farms, railroads, tiny classified ads or midget leasing are inane. She may or may not use stupid words like inane. She may or may not smile through her eyes, providing direction, ambition, motivation and purpose for my very being. She may or may not exist.