Miene Deutch Ist Kaput

Right. I am way too into documentaries on old rock bands. I also think things are cool I once thought sucked. I am a Jack’s sense of selling out.
I was drunk today, like in the middle of the day, and I tried to trade this Turk my jacket and my Chapstick for his girlfriend. He said, “No.” The fucking Turkish have no business sense. With the way she was looking at me, that Chapstick will stick around longer than she will.
German girls say I look like, “Elvis died.” I assume they mean “A dead Elvis.” I am not dead. I am not Elvis. I am just one guy who likes to drink beer for breakfast and booze for lunch.
My friends say I look like a junkie. I protest that statement. I just think I look a bit maniacal and bloody.
I bought records today. Like LPs. Vinyl. I don’t have a record player, but if you do and you want to listen to Bob Marley live in 1975, then call me.
Here is where I am at in my life:
Obama is President. I find that groovy. I mean, I voted for him man. However, now that he is the President, it means he is the man. And I have sworn to fight the man for all eternity. See? This is a problem.
I am leaving the Army soon. I think that is dope. I mean, I hate the Army man. However, once I am gone, I start over again. And I think I am too old to start over. I also miss Iraq. See? This is an issue.
I am already restless. I think this is scary. I mean, I want a challenge and something to do that is fun and exciting. And I don’t know what my future holds and I am afraid I will do something rash like become a Merchant Marine or some shit. See? This is an obstacle.
I keep getting harassed by the Gestapo. I can’t walk five meters without some clown asking for my papers. I didn’t know it was a crime to be me. But alas, it is. So I just fuck with them. I got punched once. I love it. I am doing nothing wrong, so nothing is going to happen to me. See? This is awesome.