Give Me Whiskey When I'm Thirsty

Right. And give me a headstone when I die.
I am tired. Exhausted. I had recently redefined the word exhausted to mean something entirely different. However, in this context, the word means the same is always has. Tired. I looked at myself in the mirror today for the first time in months. I use an electric razor and dont try to shave very well, so I never really see myself. I am tired. It shows.
I have scars on my face of which I am tired of seeing.
I have scars on my life of which I am tired of being.
I have veins on my hands and I am tired of them pumping.
I have scars on my soul of which I am tired of feeling.
I have scars on my heart of which I am tired of concealing.
I have a curve in my spine because I am tired of slumping.
I have scars on my body of which I am tired of hiding.
I have scars on my advice of which I am tired of providing.
I have scars in my brain and I am tired of them not healing.
I have scars in my eyes of which I am tired of revealing.
I am tired of everything. I am tired of getting the shit kicked out of me. Mentally. Emotionally. Physically. I am beaten and tired. I do this to myself. It is my fault. I make bad choices. I make horrible decisions. I am too considerate. Everyone feeds off me, and I just give. I have endless energy for others. I have nothing for myself. I am tired of getting the shit kicked out of me.
Seven months left. Seven months seeing apparitions who ignore me.