I Was The Nicest Guy I Knew

Right. The dentist yelled at me today, but on the plus side I might have mouth cancer. So I have that going for me. One would think that the morning scare of a face removing cancer would stop one from dipping. One would think a lot of things I guess, because here I am dipping. I tried to explain that it's not the mouth cancer that removes your face, it's the treatment. That makes me believe we need a better treatment.
German TV is odd. I saw a naked woman selling Aspercream.
German beer is gross. I miss my car.
The girls here are hot. I am going to do very well for myself here. The women seem to love people with light eyes. And people say Hitler did nothing good. He's hooking me up.
Here is some funny shit about Germany. They call hip-hop, "black music." It's in the record store. It's funny.
When you come to Germany, you can ride around on my Stryker with me. It'll be fun. We can shoot shit. I have a .50 Cal machine gun. Do you? No? Well then.
The guy who does the German voice of Kramer is amazing. He sounds just like him.
I am currently staying in the dopest hotel ever. I have to go find my own place and it sucks. It looks like I will be in for a hefty commute to and from work. That's okay though. I have a car coming on September 17th.
Hey, let's discuss the flight here. It was awesome! I watched Dr. Doolittle 2, Over the Hedge, Failure to Launch, Ice Age 2 and something else terrible. I think every screaming child in the world was on my plane. I have news for parents. Just because you have learned to go tone deaf to the screams of your children, doesn't mean I have. There was a fat woman who kicked my seat once every 13 seconds. It was enjoyable.
I secretly enjoyed Over the Hedge and Ice Age 2. Except for Ice Age 2. I hated it. I mean, I really liked the squirrel. He was my favorite. But he never got hooked up with that fucking nut. All the guy wanted was the nut and he got fucked over. Then he died. I was so pissed that he died I thought about killing all the children on the flight. But I came to terms with it because I saw how happy the squirrel was in heaven. There were a lot of nuts around for him to enjoy. But then that fucking sloth had to go and bring him back to life. I was pissed. I swear. I was hot over that shit.