Or A Can Or A Pie

Right. Dumb ass Pink. For the love of God. Hi I'm Pink and I would annoy the piss out of the baby Jesus. And him being the son of God and all, rarely uses the bathroom.
Was your life hard Pink? Did dad not love you? Did mom and dad argue? I'd sulk on that now if I were you. I mean, a mother of 4 who is on welfare because her husband just died in Iraq and she can't depend on her crack whore mother for help can simply buy your CD and see how trivial her problems really are. Because you were scared as a child. Cunt.
Unbeknowst to you, I coach little league baseball. If you can call the sport the kids play "baseball." I might be the worst coach ever. I coach the kids aged 7-9. In case you aren't a parent or a little league coach, that is the perpetual age of the devil.
This is the first year the kids are pitched to, so if they played last year it was all t-ball and shit. So this year the coaches pitch and the kids swing and fun is had by all. Except me. Because I am the coach. And I know what I coached in practice. But the goddamn kids don't remember shit.
Not a single kid on my team can stop at first. They hit the ball deep to the pitcher and try to leg out an inside the park home run. What the bloody hell? I have to pick them up in order to get them to stop running. But their feet don't fucking stop running, so my balls get kicked 800 times a second by tiny feet.
One kid I coach, and I shit you not, broke his friggin' leg on the way from the dugout to the batter's box today. We had to call an ambulance for Christ sakes. It was the funniest thing I ever saw in my life, and I couldn't laugh because "they" say it's inappropriate.
I dreamt of an Orca Whale last night. I'm not telling you the truth. I dreamt of running my fingers through her hair while she sings. She was wearing a dress. I had on a french cuff shirt. She sang and I listened. Her feet danced to the words she put forth. My mind thought of how at peace I felt. My fingers ran across her scalp and through her hair at a different tempo and melody. She smiled as she sang and I looked at her teeth and my heart stopped at she smiled as she looked up at me. She continued to sing and my hand stopped with my heart. I closed my eyes and knew it was a dream. I prayed never to wake up and as I opened my eyes, I saw that the sun rises through my window 43 minutes earlier than it did 3 weeks ago.