But I'm Going To Live

Right. We had our height/weight today because we have our final PT test tomorrow. I am 72 inches and 176 pounds. I don't know what any of that means, but I am well within the Army standard. I think it means that I'm number one in the hood G.
The Army is one soul-crushing defeat after another. Remember Germany? Remember how I was supposed to go there? Roger. No longer. I fought and manipulated m y way to get to that assignment. It was the bomb. I was going to be a killer. But they switched up the tempo, and I am headed back to my previous assignment. Meaning, I will deploy less, never kill or even be shot at, I doubt I will even be issued a weapon and all in all a boring job. Fuck it. Three years.
I am tired of bagging the Army. A lot of good things have happened to me. I can run five miles at a seven-minute pace. I can function without sleep, food or encouragement for weeks. I know how to make it rain fire. I can manipulate people better.
Another good thing about the Army is a little thing called TDY. TDY is free money you get for not being at your permanent duty station, like how right now I am in my officer basic course. I've been here since June 1st, so that's a lot of cake. Another good thing about the Army is that a lot of the jobs are contracted out to civilians. These fine people hate doing the job to which they are assigned. So every month I send in my packet of receipts and forms and every month they loose my shit. Thus, I don't get paid. Then you get pissed, talk to higher, create a whole new packet and they process it. So from June 1st until October 25 they give you a check for all the money you should have been paid. This means that today at 1400 (2 pm) Yossarian will have money deposited into his savings account. What's the amount of the deposit? $11,472.86. This is extra money on top of what i already get paid. Now for the dilemma.
What do I do? I need help. Of the following options, what ought I do?
1 – Buy a kick ass big screen flat HDTV.
2 – Buy rims for my car.
3 – Buy the Desert Eagle .50 in order to pistol-whip fools.
4 – Save the money for my future boat.
5 – Buy some new clothes and take my friends out.
What do I do?