01 March 2006

Just Wait Until Tomorrow

Right. I hate, I say again, I hate it when I hear people bitch about their lives. Everyone does it. I am guilty of it. But I love me. I also know my love for being miserable. Before you start to bitch about your life the next time you have a bad day, reread this. This was my 2006MAR01.
0300 – Phone rings. It turns out there is an alert and I have 45 minutes to be on post with all my gear.
0302 – I wonder if I can go and perform while hung over worse than I have ever been.
0303 – My shaking hand reaches for the bottle and I finish last night’s Macallen's Scotch.
0306 – As I finish the bottle, I decide to give it the old college try. This is funny because I didn’t try very hard in college. But I was hung over. Give me a break.
0316 – Dressed, shaved and groomed I hop in my car and hit the highway. I think to myself, "I never planned on keeping the name Yossarian on my blog, but I enjoy being called 'Yoss,' so I will never reveal my real name."
0338 – Arrive at Squadron and wonder where the fuck everyone is.
0340 – Find out it's another PL/PSG Challenge. Great. If it’s like the last one - I will die.
0345 – Weapons draw. Sweet we are going to shoot, nothing easier than that. The weapon does the majority of the work.
0400 – Enter Squadron classroom for briefing of the plan of operations and a class on leadership.
0530 – Hit the bus for a trip to the pool.
0600 – Swim two miles with my uniform, gear and weapon. This means I have my assault pack, flack jacket, helmet, boots and LBV on. I also had to keep the weapon above water at all times. Then we jumped off a 10 meter platform with all our shit and then we learned how to turn our pants into a flotation device. This would have been helpful during the actual swim.
0800 – Changed into a dry uniform and back on the bus we head to a LRC.
0830 – LRC. This is an obstacle course type deal. Only the obstacles are about one click away from one another. Also the obstacles require building shit and making it across the obstacle without touching imaginary mines. Also you have to carry logs and 55-gallon drums and your equipment across the obstacle.
1100 – Bus ride to a bayonet assault course.
1130 - The bayonet assault course is a quarter-mile sprint, in full gear, overcoming obstacles and stabbing random targets with your bayonet. We ran this five times. I ask you this: What is the spirit of the bayonet? To kill, kill, kill with cold blue steel. I gave you the answer.
1400 – We wave goodbye to the bus and begin to run. We ran 3 1/2 miles in boots, with gear, weapons and through mud, in the rain. It was also mostly uphill. Granted we ran SLOW. But We started out and ran the first quarter-mile in about 1 1/2 minutes. That's fast. Then things slowed down considerably.
1500 – Squadron formation. Then we pissed and headed up into the classroom.
1525 – We received a mission assessment and had to develop a course of action. This was the WORST mission assessment ever. But hey you have to go it; you have 45 minutes. Go.
1610 – Brief the Squadron Commander our plan. Discuss. Pontificate.
1725 – Promotion and awards formation.
1725 – Review of the day and sit-down with the CSM and SCO. (Command Sergeant Major and Squadron Commander.)
1800 – Release.
1810 – Hit my troop and turn in weapons and sensitive items.
1820 – Drive home and get stuck behind every moron unaware that when needed to slow down slightly, your car will do perform this function on its own, simply take your foot off the gas. A car will gradually stop if you fail to give it gas. It's called inertia. Maybe not. Don't quote me on that. Actually do. Say it with confidence and people will believe you, unless you say it to someone in the know. I can't help you out then. Goat head and feel free to tell them you know it's true because this guy with a Master's Degree, who joined the Army and who writes a blog about women he desires said so. You will look dumber by the second.
1840 – Arrive home and shower.
1900 – Begin to write this and look for a picture, and realize that this has been my favorite day I have had in the Army.

25 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

here is my bitch. i'm being kicked out of my house because of an insurance regulation. i have to move out, but i will not be in town to do it, not to mention find a new place. i have no idea how this will work. i have a woman that i once loved and left me, back in front of me....i no longer trust her....and the girl i currently love is leaving me. i cant remember the last time i was more fascinated with a woman. i have an examination that will guide my future and cant read for it. i cant close my left hand after i hit the post with the space between my glove and elbow pads in tonights game. i never see my friends or keep up with them besides posting on this blog. i didnt go home for my mother's birthday or for a friend in need. i break promises i make to myself. i am becoming a sub par clinician. i am not fat either. this is not how i thought i would be. i hope my man yoss and unkind are fairing better.

1/3/06 21:24  
Blogger Erika said...

ugh. the only part of this post that really scared me was thinking about what it might be like to be 'getting up' at 3 am and not 'passing out' at 3 am.

1/3/06 21:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

truthfully, not that big of a deal. find a place, appropriately hate women, and look at a book...and eat some food to get fat, not that bullshit salad and veggie burgers that i have been eating recently. and start drinking more alcohol.

1/3/06 21:26  
Blogger unkind said...

While we're all feeling sorry for ourselves, I'll say that I've given a name to my pain...and it is "Batman".

Seriously, the central struggle of my life right now is the fact that I am painfully in love...with a 32" Sony LCD television. And we are cruelly separated by a chasm of $2500. Oh, woe!

1/3/06 22:49  
Blogger Blush said...

oh cocaine. youre breaking my heart. try to keep your chin up. i'm living proof that it will get better. and it will.

thats a promise.

yossarian, its about time you saw the bright side. but your title gives your cynicism away. i guess thats why i liked it

2/3/06 07:45  
Blogger unkind said...

Look out, cocaine. Looks like blush just fell in love again...

I'd advise changing your phone number.

2/3/06 12:29  
Blogger Blush said...

i am not in love with anyone, much less someone who derives his nick from illegal substances. i have loved cocaine before, though not the one you refer to. i dont know what you have against me, but you should really get over it. its juvenile, and i doubt you have any idea what youre talking about.

and if you think that a few kind and encouraging words=love, im afraid youre in for a devastating surprise in your future.

i dont like fighting, so thats as much as youll get out of me.

thats all.

2/3/06 13:11  
Blogger Blush said...

unkind:
now that ive thought about it...maybe youre just jealous...

yeah, that must be it...

heheh

2/3/06 15:15  
Blogger unkind said...

Unfortunately for you, I love fighting.

I don't really think a few kind words equals love, so we agree there. However, I also don't think that liking a blog equals good cause to think that one is in love with the author, and apparently you and I differ on that one.

I have nothing against you, dear blush. I just think you're a silly individual, so I poke fun at you. I've told you before, I find internet interactions superficial and good only for momentary entertainment. I seek no fulfillment on blogs, only a momentary flicker of amusement before I get back to real life.

You should give that outlook a testdrive. Might save you some humiliation the next time you throw yourself shamelessly at some guy you don't even know.

2/3/06 15:27  
Blogger unkind said...

Ah, narcissism. Big surprise there.

You really are a living, breathing stereotype.

2/3/06 15:28  
Blogger meredith said...

Unkind, I think I love you.

2/3/06 16:07  
Blogger meredith said...

If I bought the LCD and sent it to you would that be too weird?

2/3/06 16:08  
Blogger unkind said...

Now you're just talking dirty.

2/3/06 16:17  
Blogger Blush said...

poke fun all you want. what you dont know is that i am NOT in love with ANYBODY, certainly NOT any bloggers. if i am in love with anyone is it myself. so call me narcisitic all you want... thats cool with me because its the truth. but i dont know about the stereotype thing. remember, as much as you may think you know about me, you actually know very little of who i am. its not fair to judge, unkind. but i guess thats just in your nature, so its unfair of me to scold you for it. i would hope that we could get along. i think that if you ever actually discussed the matter with me, youd find that im just as you are, and instead of drawing conclusions about my shamelessness and humiliation, as you graciously put it, perhaps you could relate, although i must admit that would be a stretch. the truth is i could care less about all of this, and believe it or not, i do have my OWN life too. oh wait, you dont read my shit anymore, so you wouldnt know anyway. thats okay. just please dont jump to conclusions about me, when you know me even less than the people you claim that i do not know. its just not becoming of you sweetie.
and then when you do it, simple minded people tend to jump on your bandwagon. give me a break here. nobody likes to be ganged up on. and i have no intention to become the fucking laughingstock of this damn blog. sorry to disappoint, but it aint gonna be me.

either way, i do believe this will be my last posting on this blog. i can only be looked down upon and made fun of so much by people that i dont know and frankly could give a shit about. thats ridiculous.

no offense to your shit yoss. its still some of the best writing out there.

blush, signing off.

2/3/06 16:43  
Blogger unkind said...

Promises, promises.

2/3/06 16:59  
Blogger xTx said...

i will never bitch about my bad days ever again even though i had a pretty bad one last night it does not compare ONE CLICK to your bad day.

In fact, Yoss, if I may call you that, if I ever have to partake in a PL/PSG Challenge, I think I'd tell my CSM, SCO and CFO and tell them "Dudes, you can take this bayonet and some logs, and 55-gallon drums and all my gear, and 'idontknowwhatibeentold' yer asses 33 miles down to the nearest LRC and start dodging imaginary mines and see how YOU like it!" And then, when they'd tell me and my squadron self that if I don't turn about face and get my platoon ass back to the post pronto they will throw me in the brig in solitary confinement because it's AWOL and that's a broken army law, well, then I'd have to tell them I'm a concientious objector and please could I call my mom to write me a letter to get me out of the army early. amen.

2/3/06 17:19  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, all of this.

2/3/06 20:28  
Blogger unkind said...

Y -- Mission accomplished, at long last. You're welcome.

Meredith -- I would totally take you up on that, if it wouldn't make me a hypocrite for accepting the love of a person with whom my only contact has been online. Plus, aren't you a single mom? I'm a bad man, but I'm not yet so bad that I'll accept gratuitous and enormously expensive gifts from single mothers.

2/3/06 21:07  
Blogger Yossarian said...

ill take expensive gifts from single mothers.

2/3/06 21:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

....it's called friction. inertia is what would keep it going if there wasn't any friction.

3/3/06 11:22  
Blogger meredith said...

I have a child but I am rolling in it. Or actually, I have a Best Buy card with a "no interest for 12 months" option.

3/3/06 16:22  
Blogger meredith said...

Also, I have something else on my mind that I need to project: I will never see Brokeback Mountain.

3/3/06 16:23  
Blogger unkind said...

why?

3/3/06 22:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... » » »

14/2/07 09:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work ghost recon dedicated server Blood pressure categories Removal tattoo cosmetic Barbie demo games

3/3/07 01:01  

Post a Comment

<< Home