March Is Full Of Madness

Right. I found it the other day. It was hiding in the dryer. It would come out when I slept and sprinkle suck-dust over my body. I would inhale the suck-dust and it got inside me. It entered my blood stream. That little fucker is the sole reason for the suck of my life. I fed it its own heart while I kept its blood pumping using an advanced dialysis machine. It liked the taste of its raw heart. But then again, it liked to ruin my life too.
I have been fucking busy. Slag off.
We need to have lunch sometime. Hopefully this lunch involves more boning strippers than actual food. You make the arrangements. I'll bring the Oxy-Clean.
You know what rules about being in the Army? Rampant swear words. Sweet merciful crap I curse a lot. I like to think it makes me a better person.
Someone out there hear my request. I want a stuffed Moose head. Taxidermy rules. Especially when it involves giant Moose heads. Moose.
One day, when kingdoms have fallen and people have risen and the victory is celebrated as we forget the lessons. Larry will be hiding around the corner, and Larry will raise the kingdom again.
You will invent the device to set me free. However, once free I will enslave you, because, well, I never liked you very much. I don't feel bad about it and I'm not sorry.
Hear me know and videotape me later. If I ever fuck Beyonce - I will donkey punch her. She'll need someone to check up on that.
If my muscles were as big as my brains, I'd have to fuck them up too.