Say Intro

Right. Training. Good Army training. I’ll be gone soon for a period of about 3 weeks. Where will Yossarian go? What will Yossarian do? Why must Yossarian live in a shit-filled box for an extended period of time? Who does Yossarian think he is? When will Yossarian learn? Is Yossarian going on Fear Factor?
I am going to SERE. It is 3 weeks long. I do not know when I leave but it will be soon.
I went out on the town last night with some fellas from work. We went to beautiful downtown Tacoma. I will not be going out in Tacoma any more. Why? I don't wait in lines to drink. I don't wait in lines to get into an establishment. I don't pay cover charges. I don't shake rumps with retards. Lasers bother me and smoke machines smell funny. I watched this woman strip all of her clothes off. It was the first time in my life I wish I hadn't seen a naked woman. She was big in the community, if you know what I'm saying.
I am at a stage in my life where I no longer want to associate myself with a train wreck. I am of the belief that while it may very well be fashionable to be a train wreck, it sucks and I want nothing to do with one. I met this girl last night and she seemed decent enough. Then...well...then she decided it would be a good idea to inform me that her father used to rape her. It's cool though because she is cool with it. She doesn't let it affect her anymore. Clearly. That's why you’re grabbing at my cock and I just met you. That's why when you found out I had a job, car and an education you asked me if I'd like to have a threesome. You're clearly over it.
My friends all think I'm damn near stupid for not RSVPing to the offer. But I ain't even trying to get involved with y'all. You want to be a train wreck, go be one away from me. I've worked too hard to live amongst trash.
God. Send me to war. Send me to the Middle East and let me get shot at. Send me to where the roadsides have bombs and the cigarettes have CS. Send me to 20-hour days and the cacophony of war. Send me to what makes sense. Send me to protect the right to date rape. Send me to protect the freedom to whore our daughters out. Send me to preserve to way of the sadist. I'll go. Because it'll all be okay. Paths can be changed. You can learn to swim when you begin to drown.
War. Where will you send me? How is it different than where I am? Should I live in trenches or the fist of the beast? Should I fear poisoned atmosphere disease or have a gas mask to keep me from breathing my death? In both places, it's American soil I want to stand on. My duty will never compare to the battles, wars and triumphs my ancestors had over the years. Here, loneliness strikes like an enemy shell. I want to return to a coast so very far away.