A Murderer Is Less To Fear

Yossarian,

My wife is pregnant. I want to know how to be a supporting husband and help her through this process.

Johnny

Johnny,

What are you blathering about? Your work is pretty much done. There is little more you can do. You must have missed 6th grade family class when everything was explained. Allow me to enlighten.
You knock up a girl and cells divide. The baby grows and when the lungs are fully formed, it goes for a slide down the little chute and comes out. It's just that easy.
The baby will come out when the baby wants to. You can't force it out. No one backs baby into a corner. Baby does what baby wants.
Now then, your wife will go crazy. She will cry, eat a lot, have issues and get huge. All of this provides laughter for everyone involved, because hey, life is funny. She might not say she likes you laughing at her when she eats pickles and drinks lime soda and drinks milk and eats tomato sauce for a meal. But trust me, she secretly appreciates you keeping the mood light. She might get mad and threaten divorce. Well hell, that's ideal. That way you no longer have to lie to her and tell her she is still pretty when she is fat and nasty.
Let's be honnest. The "glowing beauty" of a pregnant woman...doesn't exist. No it's more like "growing not so beauty." Because she will grow and it will be gross for all involved.
The only thing you can make this easier for her is to be decent. Be a dad and teach the kid not to be a douche bag. Be a husband and laugh at your wife. Devote yourself to her, but laugh at her. Because trust me, before this pregnancy and after, when she is with her friends, she is laughing at you.
That's my opinion. It's one man's opinion, if you don't like it, then you're crazy.