I Can Teach You
Right. I am just waiting to do my fantasy football draft 2006. I will win again. All praise me and my fantasy football skills.Some of you might not know this, but there is a record that rules. It's by the Kleptones and is called a night at the hip-hopera. Rap over Queen...splendid.
I womder if famous people pay people to look on the internet for everything written about said famous person. I wonder if JESSICA BIEL is one of those famous people. I wonder if my blog has been brought to her attention. I wonder if JESSICA BIEL is busy making preparations for the immenient marrige and consequent creamery I will turn her into. I wonder if JESSICA BIEL is as happy about the prophecy as I am.
Ever loving Adelaide.
I shit on your clothes and then I deficate twice in your ice cream cone.
Life is too long man. We need to speed this shit up.
I hope my fantasy draft goes well.
I'll do it my way, and having done it my way, I'll say I did it my way, furthermore I will not admit this is the greatest cheesecake alive.
posted by Yossarian at 2:32 AM
13 Comments:
let me tell you something that is funny.
or at least i think so.
whenever someone is talking about anything, interject with question "did you take any body shots?"
or "yeah, but did you take any body shots?"
it is a funny way to insinuate that a guy is a flamer, a girl a prude, or just lame up their story with some senior frogs cancun flavor.
i've not been to cancun.
nor senior frogs, but you all know what i am talking about.
also people don't know exactly what situation your are describing. were you the one to take the shot? or was someone taking a shot off you? or was it a doubleshot tall glass in a fat girl's belly roll? or was some guy that shaves his chest involved?
i don't know.
but i do know this. jessica biel is fit. and when she wanders away from the all american apple pie blond hair, whatever baseball movie she made with the guy from she's all that and goes with the dark hair, i'm white but somehow i look a bit asian, she is unstoppable.
you want to know what else is fucked up.
i lost my bed.
so i used to live in the shitty place. then i took a break to drink and travel. then i came back. then i moved to another shitty place.
now i am in a new shitty place in a different city. and my girl bought me some bedsheets. what the fuck ever, i clean my shit at the laundry mat every week to two weeks, so it wasn't like she was commenting that the shit was foul. she asked what size the bed was? a queen. but fuck off if it wasnt a queen but a full. so i took this mattress from a roommate that bought it and moved out and left it. but what the fuck happened to my old queen size mattress and box springs. that isn't something that you can just forget. it is fucking huge. now i intentionly left my sony tv, a bike, my heavy bag and stand cause i didnt have room for it and it wasnt worth the 1200 for a uhaul truck, but not this. it disappeared.
anyway, it is nice to have sheets that actually fit your bed.
how od you loose a bed? its not as if its a packet of peanuts is it
i didnt say you could post on my blog!
chigga check it!
girls asking to go to coldstone creamery. i love it.
see i post whenever i fuckin please.
everyone wants a great letter of recommendation, but when forced to write one for yourself that should be from another person..... i should be like "C is the greatest fighter of all time!"
c
c-
can i post on your blog? if the answer is in the affirmative, I would like to take credit for informing Yossarian about the Kleptones. Unless, of course, he was informed of them from someone far awesomer than I am.
If your answer was in the negatory, than I apologize. Pretend I never wrote this.
What is this kleptones nonsense? Rhyming over Queen songs? Zuh?
I'm going to try running outside today, even though that shit is for fools.
running outside, or running at all is a DAG. Or Dumb Army Game.
Dont do it.
Drink a nice beer and take a nap, its much easier on your constitution.
tracy did in fact inform me of the kleptoes and that shit is bomb.
hip hop, ferris bueller, aqua teens, big lebowski, fight club and brittney spears over queen. splendid.
xtx, yes you may post.
ive run outside for the last three days.
it is good for you
my back is hurting and that running nonsense fits it
i hate snakes
buying gift certificates to a creamery...
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