16 August 2006

Versus

Right. Chad McGreevy says not to post any more pictures of my future wife JESSICA BIEL. Chad McGreevy says it seems a little to show offy for my style. Chad McGreevy says to go back to the art. Chad McGreevy drinks a lot more than I do.
Yossarian says fuck the Germans. Lazy assed people here. Yossarian also says that when one doesn't have a television for a year and when one gets a television, one realizes one misses out on a lot, like Snakes on a Plane commercials.
You might not know this, but there is a United Kingdom version of Pimp My Ride. You might not know this, but it is fucking funny. I remember when I left home my daddy gave me some advice, "Son," he said, "There is nothing funnier than a white-guy-Brit acting like he is a black-guy-gangsta on a dumb show about putting dumb paint on even dumber cars." My daddy is like Yodda.
17 months.
The old super freak I wrote about is officially out of my life. Officially. It wasn't so much the sex, which was ample, but the odor flowing from her junk, which was gross. I felt like a tree that had been pissed on by a large dog who ate asparagus and has a bladder infection. In about 30 showers she won't have this territory marked.
I haven't seen a UFO in my life.
One of my troops came to me today with money problems. It seems that he was given a credit card with a five thousand dollar limit and a small 24% interest rate. Along with a 10% late fee charge and an annual fee of 250 dollars. Money problems. I think he has mental problems. I don't have a credit card so I ask the closest person in proximity to me at the time, "Hey 24% interest, that's high right?" My luck the closest guy was this ass hat private who said, "it's high, but not unusual." The fucking Sears Tower isn't unusual but it's high. Sheesh.

6 Comments:

Blogger xTx said...

you are the complete opposite of that freak's vaginal stench.

16/8/06 11:17  
Blogger unkind said...

Does that make him...a lovely, minty-fresh penile aroma?

Your junk has a lovely bouquet, apparently.

16/8/06 19:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell her to clean up her act
get some wipes and keep hitting it
until the dick blitzkrieg gets boring.
word to your mother
i tell the truth
so bear my witness
i watch pimp my ride
i like the worthless guy that decides to put the rims on the car.
when i watch tv at my girl friends house i turn that shit on after blocking some gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, project runway bullshit....then i see the car and all the fake ass excitement and occasionally i'll switch back after baseball tonight gets boring or i can't find a good looking whore on the tube.
im glad X didnt pimp my old ride, i needed the baby blue interior and the captain's chair. and yoss you'd never let him touch lurch, and k the silver bullet.

16/8/06 19:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

your best knock it off posting on my blog

16/8/06 19:34  
Blogger Nervous said...

I suppose you'll need to hook up with another fraulein and report back on whether this stanky cooter thing is common in that region or just an individual thing.
Would contracting VD grant you an honorable discharge? Heh, discharge.

18/8/06 10:11  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work
Manufacturer of gate opener

25/8/06 02:52  

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