I Got My Own Network

Right. I decided that from here on out all of my blog entries will consist of only one word. As soon as I implement this you can go about your day, sit down at your desk for lunch, check my blog and read, "magazine." How great would that be? The answer is awesome.
I am against land equality. Because I know in my heart a nice warm beach is better than a muddy assed mountain.
There was a time when I was fun to be around. There was a time when I knew how to have a good time. I could meet girls, drink beer, laugh and still drive home. I could drink till 4 in the morning, sleep for 3 hours and play 5 hours of pick up basket ball in the morning. Now all I know how to do is curse, bark orders and dip. I hope I fall back into my old routine. I hope there is a drink with a little straw hat in it for me.
The bakery across the street from me has bomb ass pretzels. I could eat one every fifteen minutes for at least...One million years. To demonstrate that I can do this, I will do it starting now. Delicious.
Every time I am watching TV and see a really old car in a movie, I secretly hope the movie is Johnny Dangerously. That movie was funny.
You know what I love? Kids. I can't help it. My buddy Paul is married and has a bazillion kids, all boys, running around being all reckless and crazy. I go over there for lunch and it's all, "UNCLE YOSS!!!!!!" We play, we wrestle around and they beat the crap out of me. It is awesome. I need kids. Who wants to fuck me, give birth and then leave me alone so I can have a buddy to watch cartoons with? Kids generally like me, unless they hate me, which isn't uncommon, except that only a handful of kids have, but man have they, so it's all up in the air.
I hope when we die, we get to live in the best part of our lives forever. I hope my eternal soul has enough brain cells to survive an infinite number of Thursday nights my senior year of college.
I can't wait for all my shit to get here, especially my car. If anyone knows how I can get my navigation system to work in Europe I would appreciate it.