The Blog Bash With Yossarian
Right. My bad. Unpacking is coming along slowly. I am lazy. What can you do? Aside from get seven different types of pissed and punch holes in walls not belonging to you. It's for decoration. This is how we roll in America. The hordes need to get their shit together.Speaking of shit that is together. Keira Knightly is some next level shit together type shit. Is any of this making any sense?
Getting a four-day weekend a month isn't such a bad deal. But it fucks my sleep schedule all up.
Ohio State vs Michigan. No matter the winner, if Notre Dame puts a hurt on USC and Florida loses...NOTRE DAME IS IN THE BIG BOWL BABY!!! It's not likely, but it isn't crazy talk.
You know what is crazy talk? Bengal fans. Let's blow a 21 point lead. Sheesh. You just blew your season and you just blew my gambling money for the month you sodding bints.
Sod means fuck.
Sod off you wanker.
People ask me all the time, "Yo Yoss, what do you miss about America?" Much. Sports. ESPN. Sportscenter. Live games. Watching a game and listening to it on the radio. Women who speak English. Drinking heavily. The Simpsons. Bars.
People ask me all the time, "Yo Yoss, what is pretty much the same over there?" Much. Women don't even look at me. I have three friends. I wear bomb ass clothes.
When will Cocaine be in Frankfort? I will make myself close. Beer will flow like my seed into JESSICA BIEL.
because people ask me questions all the time and constantly email and AIM me with questions wanting to get to know all the splendor of Yossarian, I will give you what you want - answers.
Favorite food - Dijon Mustard
Favorite color - Black
If I could be anyone else - Spiderman
If I could be any animal - Saber Tooth Tiger
Two-Mile run time - 11:28
Favorite baseball team - Yanks
Favorite football team - Steelers
Favorite hockey team - Blues
Favorite NCAA team - Notre Dame
Who I'd like to meet - Keira Knightly
What I look for in a woman - In order - 1, Money. 2, Style. 3, Open to Anal Exploration.
Am I serious - I don't know.
Who is "she?" - I can't tell you.
Favorite movie - National Lampoon's Vacation
Favorite actor - Burt Reynolds
Favorite band - Boards of Canada
Favorite book - Out of Africa
Favorite drink - Guinness in a can or Murphy's in a can.
If they made a movie about my life, who I want to play me - Dennis Franz
I think that about covers it. That is all the important information about me anyone would ever want to know.
posted by Yossarian at 1:25 PM
2 Comments:
i have the same favorite
color
two mile run time
and
what I look for in a woman
wierd.
Favorite food - lots, spicy
Favorite color - Blue
If I could be anyone else - too deep
If I could be any animal - grizzly bear cheetah
Two-Mile run time - dont know anymore. i could give you the midas guarantee that it isnt sub 12 minutes
Favorite baseball team - Cards are you kidding me?
Favorite football team - football is for tossers
Favorite hockey team - previously the Blues
Favorite NCAA team - i went to college...kinda
Who I'd like to meet -yoss and unkind in pittsburg, kidding about the pittsburg. sienna miller used her hot power against pittsburgh.
What I look for in a woman - attractive. no nagging. cool. anal
Am I serious - yes
Who is "she?" - it wouldnt mean anything if i said it anyway
Favorite movie - adaptation/lebowski
Favorite actor - me
Favorite band - probably fat john
Favorite book - blink
Favorite drink - mojito or some pale ale bullshit
If they made a movie about my life, who I want to play me - okay, i just looked up dennis franz and its detective sipowicz. that makes me want to wear a tie with a short sleeve dress shirt. anyway, i want to be portayed by a straight hair version of ryan phillipe and have him surrounded by hot women cause he dumped his ocd wife and he can do something about it on the set. but then he invites me in because the movie is about me and i kick his ass off the set and take his place among the beauties.
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