You Can Border On Being Great, But It Is Either An A Or An F

Right. My first day as Yossarian went swimmingly. I have taken over. He is not missed. My name is Chad McGreevy and I get things done. I ran and then went to work. I smiled and was more social with my superiors. My name is Chad McGreevy and people respect me.
Today, someone sneezed and I said, "gazoondheight," and everyone laughed. My name is Chad McGreevy and I sprecenzin funny.
Things are going to run differently now. My name is Chad McGreevy and I don't attend your party unless you have prawns I can eat. My name is Chad McGreevy and I don't drink beer from a bottle or a can. My name is Chad McGreevy and I go the extra mile, smile, wink and nod. My name is Chad McGreevy and I can talk people into anything. My name is Chad McGreevy and I am better.
I answer to the name of Yossarian. I answer with a smile as I think of his rotting corpse decomposing between my washer and dryer. I come home and spray the air with vanilla. I coat the body with vinegar to keep it from smelling. My name is Chad McGreevy and no one can stop me.
Tomorrow I will wash the clothes Yossarian died in. Tomorrow I will remove his limbs and place them in trash bags. Tomorrow I will eat rice with salsa and maybe drink a ginger ale. My name is Chad McGreevy and I will never have a conversation about the BCS again.
A new day has had its dawn and I was awake for it, while Yossarian slept. He is sleeping a sleep he will never wake from. I am waking a day that will never end. My name is Chad McGreevy and four days from now will be my lucky day.
Yossarian will never think another thought about a woman. Yossarian will never write a sentence about his bleeding emotional heart. Yossarian will never bother a single person again. My name is Chad McGreevy and I did the world a service.