What?

Jessica Simpson and Ozzy Osbourne

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Right. I am Yossarian. I am eternal. Blah. Yadda. Blah. We all know this and we are all bored. We all know Yossarian lives. In my mind, I'm already there. Have I explained what death is like?
It's nice. You alternate your hours, which seem to last close to 40 years, boning Jessica Simpson, Shakira and Lindsey Lohan. Sometimes thoughout the hour, Lindsey's mother shows up and hot inscest ensues. God is merciful and great.
Where would I be, nay all of mankind, were it not for Guinness? I say we would still be in the stone ages. Or age. How many have there been? 13. I have seen it. History repeats itself and we all do the same shit over and over. It's all real pointless if you ask me.
I hang with the big time. I am Hollywood. What I say goes and where I go the party follows. Who am I kidding. I miss my crew. The clique. My peeps. If ever they make a movie about my life or my life turns into a movie, I hope it involves those two motor-boating sons of bitches. I emplore you two to get divorced in a year, because when I return, I demand we run shit mob style.
No I don't. Drinks, laughs and pisssing in beer bottles is all well and good with me.
How is eveyrone? I am fine. I bought stuff today. As much as I hate putting money into the German economy, I had to. Christmas is coming.
The war isn't in a country. It is in the heart of every living human alive. The conflict isn't in the battle. It is in the will of the subjects. I am not wrong. I am seeing what you have yet been shown. I am not blind. My eyes have atrophied from looking at her everytime I close my eyes.