I Am Getting A New Tattoo

Right. You might be new, so I want to clarify something for you - JESSICA BIEL is yearning for me and doesn't even know it yet. How hot is that? Pretty fucking hot if you ask me.
Thanksgiving is around the corner and I am going yet another year without my mothers cooking. In case you don't know my mother, she is a saint, actually ordained by the Holy Catholic Church, and cooks the best food in this realm of existence. Except for her spaghetti. She can't make a red sauce to save her sainted life. But that's fine because you don't eat red sauce on Thanksgiving. You eat other shit. Like giblet gravy. And oh how I could eat giblet gravy.
LimeWire is the biggest bunch of shit ever. Every day I look up Norah Jones and find a bazillion songs, I try to download them all and it always says it needs more sources. Nevermind the source thing says like 34,000.
Who the sodding hell is Parson Brown?

Very Cool Trailer

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Unpacking still isn't finished. I was going to finish it yesterday, but I had to work all day and night. I had to sit at the gate, in the cold, in the rain, in the ice, in the sleet, in the snow and make sure when the troops left post they weren't drinking, weren't going out alone and had a plan not to drive drunk. Then I had to walk all over hell's creation making sure these knuckleheads didn't beat up any German kids or damage any shit around town. It was fun. Oh and Ohio State won. A great day all around. In case you are unaware, Ohio State is a school for wankers and ought to be put into the SEC and I hate Ohio State.
So I bought a 60 gig Ipod a while ago and I don't know what to do about this. I only put like 1 gig of music on it and the fucking thing says it is half full. What the bloodclot is Apple pulling?
The Army gives these things called "flu shots." I call them, "Make you sick when you were perfectly healthy shots." Bloody hell I feel like shit.
So I have this new private, E3 type, and he is all motivated and hard charging. Straight out of jump school and AIT and all that good shit. I ask him his run time and he says it is close to 14 minutes. Fine. So we PT for a week or so and his run blows. He falls out and he is slow, but to be fair, I run him a lot faster than he is used to. Friday we did a Squadron run and you NEVER fall out of a big run. They are long, slow and you just get bored. But this new private falls out. As this bint is falling back I turn around and say, "Look mother fucker, this is not up for fucking debate, it is not a polite suggestion and it is not a good idea nor is it an option, you WILL fucking get your ass in this formation and stay the fuck there or I will have a case of the ass and fuck your world up." This daft twat fell out. His ass sat in the Roman chair for about 13 minutes straight. Then he cried. So tomorrow I am going to run him until he pukes. Then on his lunch I am going to run him until he pukes. If he doesn't puke, I will run him until his fucking nose bleeds. That ought to get my sodding point across.
I wonder what my bleeding grandfather would think of me.
What it is to be free.
One day, when I stand before God and I have to answer for my life, I will be asked how I want to spend the afterlife. Without hesitation I will answer. I will request to sit in a bar I hate, surrounded by people I generally can't stand, drinking cheap beer and smoking menthol because of something that happened that one night. I sat across from a friend and she walked in. God placed a hand in my spine making me sit straighter. My eyes saw more clearly than they had in years and my speech accurately reflected my thoughts. She brought me as close to God as I ever wish to be. She gave me this and I gave her a lesson in creep joints and speculation. There is no way in hell I will be able to live the afterlife that way, because upon her death beauty enters heaven for the first time, and I couldn't take it away from everyone else.