Let's Look At The Together

Right. If these fuckers could take any longer to hook up my internet I might die. My belongings are also late, thus I have nothing to jerk off to. This is getting stupid.
My brother is now a father. May all go well in that endeavor.
You know what rules about being in the Army? Yelling at people; that's what.
I bought an IPod. Hooah. I failed to consider that it is pointless to have an IPod when one doesn't have any music, but I have a 60 gig thing. It's supposed to be all high-speed, but who can tell. Not me that's who because none of my shit is here yet.
The German people are so fucking backwards it is boggles the mind. They also eat some pretty messed up junk. But they also eat this thing called a "Donner," and it pretty much whoops a mule's ass with a belt. I don't understand how it can taste so good. I think it is the work of the devil.
What ever happened to that guy Boner from Growing Pains?
Perhaps you were not paying attention, but the score is Yossarian 1, you 0. The game was famous hot bitches named JESSICA BIEL we all are preordained to bone.
How fast can you run 4 miles? I only ask because I ran it in 28 minutes today. I'm not saying it makes me better than you, I'm only saying it makes me faster than you.
Does anyone in the blogosphere miss me? I mean aside from people working in the shadows to take away my future crown. More specifically, does Janine Lindemulder miss me? I only ask because I miss spewing forth to your image and grunting sounds.
Work blows.
I have a date this weekend with this woman who looks like a total bitch, which makes her even hotter than she is. I have what some would call a theory, but I call a series of complete truths and facts so pure that argument against only proves what I am saying. I call this a glort.
My glort is as follows. If a woman is attractive, and looks like a mean bitch, then she is upgraded to super hot. To illustrate this I want you to either A) look into a mirror, or B) go find a girl and look at her and tell her to act out these emotions while you look at her. First either look or ask her to look happy. Cute. Now look sad. Sexy. Now look like dick is the only thing on the mind. Take a picture and send it to me because I'd like to see that look. Now look like you are about to say to your boyfriend, "You tiny-dicked-piece-of-worthless-shit-I-should-have-fucked-your-brother," in front of his mother at Thanksgiving dinner. See. UBER HOT!!!
Where was I? Oh yeah, so I met this girl in a bar last week and we got to shucking and jiving and I just wanted to drink myself into a state but she wanted to talk and so we did and I was funny and now I have to go out with her and I am hoping there will be beer because I like drinking and I like being drunk and I think people like me better when I am drinking at least I know she does because I was drunk the only time I spoke to her and I think she was sober or maybe she was on arm candy because she was skinny and scratched a lot and I don’t remember much of what she said I only remember her looking like a bitch and trying very hard not to laugh at my jokes.
It was weird.
HEY!
I remember how you looked at me when I wasn't paying attention. I remember when I looked at you when you weren't paying attention. I remember what you were thinking when I wasn't paying attention. I remember where we were going but you weren't paying attention. I remember why I was looking but you weren't paying attention. I remember who you were looking at when it looked like I wasn't paying attention.