Hung They Out The Flag Of War
Right. Blogging is like eating twinkies for dinner. It sounds like a really good idea, but always leaves me feeling sort of sick. No wait it isn't blogging that's like eating twinkies for dinner, it's eating twinkies for dinner. I need to puke.I am pissed that no one fights on my blog these days. I am also pissed that cocaine stopped using my blog as his blog. I can rectify one of those problems. I will have a weekly "share" with you. Every week I will share something about me with you and you can fight over how much I rule. Agreed.
To start this off, I would like to share with you my most embarrassing secret. Every time I see a zit, I want to pop it. Not just if the zit is on me, but if one is on yout too. If you have a zit and we have lunch, I will just be thinking how much I would love to squeeze the crap out of that zit. It would make my day if I were with a girl who would get like 4 zits a day, and she would let me pop them for her. Maybe not so much on her face, but like a nice shoulder zit, or a leg zit or maybe a neck zit. Something I could just squeeze an it would squirt its zit semen out. It would make my fucking day. I am a sick, sick dude. But I can't stop thinking about how much I want to pop your zit. Even now as I type, my heart quickens. Partly because I have heart palpitations, but mostly because I am excited about the prospect of popping your zit. I have dreams about popping zits. It is great. I popped a zit today of mine on my abdomen, and straight blood shot out. It was a first and I liked it.
I don't have too many zits though, so I can't pop as many as I'd like.
I am giving serious consideration to going to see Shakira live and in concert in January. I'd like to have premarital sex with Shakira. I'd also like to have marital sex with Shakira. Let's be honest with each other, I'd have any kind of sex with Shakira.
If I won the powerball and bought a castle, would you move in with me?
I was thinking of getting in on this myspace trend. I want to do it to keep in touch with my peeps. However, I really don't have any peeps. Nor do I have a camera or very many pictures of myself. But I think if I had a myspace page, I'd use "Unpretty" by TLC as my music. That shit would be funny.
If it were up to me, and I hope one day it is, I will devote eight hours a day to work, eight hours to working out and reading and my last eight hours to keeping the temperature of your hands, feet and legs as warm as possible.
posted by Yossarian at 9:45 AM
5 Comments:
First of all, I want to pop everyones zits too, but as I get older I only want to pop the dry ones because if they ooze out all over my hands that kinda grosses me out now. Old.
Second, from what I recently learned, anything you post to myspace becomes the intellectual property of the corporation that owns myspace. So don't be clever or marketable if you start an account there.
After reading the above, I now know for certain we have at least three things in common. This means we both must rule. Cocaine is an addled-brained whiskey prostitute with long nose hairs and lack of hygiene. punch punch.
asia smells like farts.
punch punch
nword
nword
nword
Breakups are fun sometimes, and other times, they are nightmares.
Dude, you're not going bald, you fucking pansy. You've probably just got malnutrition cuz your ass never eats.
Besides, what's wrong with being bald? I'm bald and it fucking rules. No shampoo. No haircut expenses. Those are fucking Zionist conspiracies, anyway.
Get a 360. Buy "Gears of War".
I'm drunkity kane tonight, baby.
Cocaine is an addled-brained whiskey prostitute with long nose hairs and lack of hygiene. punch punch.
asia smells like farts.
i just looked up addled and it is pretty close. I do like whiskey, but i have also been known to have chick drinks, like a mojito. when not in a relationship, i will screw any woman that is not morbidly obese. i prefer little thin women though. nose hairs no longer hurt when i pluck them. i havent showered for 2 days and still dont smell. sometimes, i get so tired i fall asleep face down with my clothes on.
asia smells like firecrackers behind autorickshaws...sometimes spices...sometimes urine..i like cows walking around just doing their things.
xtx, you like yoss very much. and if you aren't related, he would probably date your face and then not like you because you like him. discussion open
i like the fact we may start fighting again.
i like the fact asia reads myblog
i dont like the fact i dont know who asia is
i like the fact i hate girls who like me
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