I Was Wrong It Never Lasts
Right. Kate Beckinsale, I have news for you. Most men would look at your hair and say, "That woman might be retarded because of how that hair is stupid and makes her look ugly." Kate Beckinsale, I have news for you. I am not most men. I do not care how your hair looks, I will unconditionally love you with my soul, in perpetuity, until I find out you are dumb, or don't like college football or hate Conan The Barbarian. I know I am preordained to join in holy wedlock (anal sex) with JESSICA BIEL, but please take heed that I am also going to be divorced from her and I'd be the happiest man ever if you were the cause of my divorce Ms. Beckinsale. I love you. In perpetuity. Or until you decide you need to fuck my best friend.Why am I an a good mood? Is it because I love my job? Not even close. Is it because of anything related to my 20 hour work days, 7 days a week for no reason and overall numbness to the life? Nope. It is because it is Christmas time and I enjoy Christmas time.
It's not so much the bells, bows or flashing lights as much as it is spending time with everyone I hold dear. Mistletoe is nice, though it has never worked out to my benefit. My favorite Christmas song is Silent Night or when Ray Charles sings Winter Wonderland. But then again I have to listen to crap like Grandma Got Run Over By A Something Or Other.
Stores are packed and the shelved are overstocked with stuff and I get to be the best dressed while I shop, but that's all for show and it's alright, but it's not the spirit of the season. The fact is, this goofy time of year gets me. It grabs hold of my balls and never lets me act like I don't care. Eleven months a year and it's fuck you. But for 31 days, I am happy and at peace.
I wish I were there with you and I am sorry I am not. Moreover, I am sorry I made decisions resulting in me not being around at all for a long time. But soon, I'll be back and we can have Christmas in whatever the bloody month it is when I return. I miss my friends and family greatly.
I love Christmas. I love it ass deep, much the same way I love Kate Beckinsale.
posted by Yossarian at 11:17 AM
5 Comments:
i think it's totally cute, in a gay way, that you admit to loving christmas so much.
did you say "balls deep" in this post? Because if you didn't you oughta go re-write it to include said phrase right now.
i am spending christmas overseas too. i thought i wouldnt miss it. But about two days after thanksgiving and no turkey and working 13 hours then reading for another couple, i was on the phone with the airlines. their christmas present to me was a thousand two hundred dollar hike if i wanted to change my itinerary. sux. so to maintain some christmas i am going to go to the mother of all christian chapels in india. damn it
80 km from hyderabad. went to the zoo. i was a wild animal. and fuck off if an elephant wasn't picking up change with its trunk.
not picking up change sick of it all style....just picking up rupees...
the church is 80 km from hyderabad. sometimes when i type fast, shit doesn't make any sense
all day, baby....all day!
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