Minus Two
Right. When you get off the plane at Baghdad International, no matter the time of day, a well lit American Flag flies above everything. At first I wondered what George Washington would have thought to see the flag waving in a foriegn country, but then I just thought what the farmer thought when he was suddenly under Greek rule. Then I saw the base.
It is clear that we are here and we are not leaving. Ever. Just look at how much we have built up for us to be here is staggering. There is a fucking Pizza Hut here.
But other than that, things are fine. It is hot as a mother fucker. Everything smells funny, and the wireless internet thing I bought takes close to 4 hours to connect, so I won't blog as much as I had hoped. My boss esentially told me that since I am planning on leaving the Army, he will work me like a pig while the Army has me, so it should make this an interesting 15 months.
I brought plenty of books, so when I am "off" I will be reading. I still don't have an address, so no mail for me. Also, there is like no porn in this whole fucking country. And with Yossarian having no internet, then how will 13 fluid ounces live up to its name? The world will never know.
I am fine. My dick trippled in size last night. We are doing the right thing. If I say these things enough, they are bound to be true.
Our Colonel today said, "We can change history men." I take that to mean that he is an idiot because history cannot be changed, that's why it's called "history" and not "the future." But if we are to change history, wouldn't that mean he believes we already lost considering his speech was about how we are going to win? These are questions.
Whatever.
It is clear that we are here and we are not leaving. Ever. Just look at how much we have built up for us to be here is staggering. There is a fucking Pizza Hut here.
But other than that, things are fine. It is hot as a mother fucker. Everything smells funny, and the wireless internet thing I bought takes close to 4 hours to connect, so I won't blog as much as I had hoped. My boss esentially told me that since I am planning on leaving the Army, he will work me like a pig while the Army has me, so it should make this an interesting 15 months.
I brought plenty of books, so when I am "off" I will be reading. I still don't have an address, so no mail for me. Also, there is like no porn in this whole fucking country. And with Yossarian having no internet, then how will 13 fluid ounces live up to its name? The world will never know.
I am fine. My dick trippled in size last night. We are doing the right thing. If I say these things enough, they are bound to be true.
Our Colonel today said, "We can change history men." I take that to mean that he is an idiot because history cannot be changed, that's why it's called "history" and not "the future." But if we are to change history, wouldn't that mean he believes we already lost considering his speech was about how we are going to win? These are questions.
Whatever.
Labels: the greatest shit ever
posted by Yossarian at 2:57 AM
3 Comments:
sucks about your lack of speedy internet and no porn.
i look forward to hearing more.
Good point on changing history.
There are Pizza Huts there? Whoa.
Good point about the history also he must be an idiot. Anyone who believes in this war is an idiot. You are clearly not.
Sucks bout porn and the net connection but you always have your books...and Lindsay Lohan in your mind.
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