If that bitch can't swim...she's bound to drizzound

So I am back to square one. The guy who was going to help me has bailed so I need some serious help. But fist I am going to finish this list so I can move on and vent about the tangled tapestry of shit that is my life. So let's get it on.
#4

Royal Tenenbaum is who I would be in an alternate reality if I were a lawyer and old. I don't give a shit. I can lie to you about anything and rationalize it out so I am doing the right thing. I can take it out and chop it up. I try to teach my nephews about how to have fun. My sister gets pissed. I fully plan on having kids whom hate me. But the thing is, is that I just have no tact. If you listened instead of getting offended then you would hear some serious shit. Long live my brothers in arms.
#4

Yeah so we have a tie. I really should have thought about this more because there are a lot of peeps I can't get into the list, even though I want to.
William Wallace. You fuck with me too long and you get fucked with. And when I start a fucking, your ass ain't never going to be the same. I don't want to start fucking. But sometimes a fucking must be done. Depending upon the severity of the initial fucking - I will fuck so hard and long that I fuck myself. I will fuck myself through my own actions. But only after I have fucked your world.