G-L-O-R-I-A

Right. She sings to me at night like a drug dealer skulking in the shadows. I beg her as her voice fades to never stop singing. But she laughs at my request with disdain. I don't matter to her. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's beautiful now. Peaceful.
Part of my OBC is leading people. To evaluate this, the Army brings in a bunch of privates and we get to lead them as if they were our platoon. We are then critiqued on how we do. I should note that 98% of the privates are good honest people who really want to do well in the Army. But then there are those... They just... I mean it's like... They have an ability to keep you from finishing sentences.
One such is my man private Booth. Now clearly Booth is not his real name. But Booth is wild man. He has a contest with a friend of his on who can spend their paycheck the fastest. So by day three they are both broke. One of their tactics include taking a cab for the two-hour ride to St. Louis. Brilliant. Well my man Booth here is also married. And he is very open about cheating on her. She too, cheats at will on him. It's a nice thing they have together. I had to go to his house the other day to inspect his shit and see how he's living. In a word: splendidly. He has no furniture. Not even a bed. Well he has two soiled mattresses on some cinder blocks, but that's about it. He has no car and a giant dog.
Booth also has the most expensive computer in the world. He uses this computer for one sole purpose. This purpose is to broadcast him fucking random fat women on the Internet. Wonderful. He has a giant 82nd Airborne flag on his wall behind his bed. He wears his Army boots and makes the women sing the Army song whilst he commences to boning them doggy style. Superb. Meanwhile I would kill for a hand job and some Gatorade and he gets women to go for this shit.
Another thing my man here likes to do is scheme. He always has some get rich quick schemes he is proposing. Now I am all about making a buck. Do what you gotta do. So last week the MP's show up to my class and ask to speak with me as he said I was his LT because he likes me. Seems Booth thought it a good idea to breed, raise and sell gerbils. There was a neighborhood complaint so the MP's investigate. In his garage, Booth has 300 cages filled with gerbils. He's been at this in secret for a while. The MP's inform me and I subsequently inform him that one would need a permit to do such things. Booth then decides it isn't worth it and decides to get rid of the gerbils. How would you do it? Donate them to a zoo? Give them to children? Give them to a pet store? Not my man. Nope. He lets them all loose in the neighborhood. There is a huge infestation problem. I love this kid.