Bear Witness

Right. I switched from Pabst to Miller Light. Partly because of great taste and it being less filling and all. But mostly because they were out of Pabst and no one around here sells Murphy's. But the rest of my day remains intact. Rest assured.
The Army is throwing the proverbial cog in my proverbial wheel. For the next four days and three nights I will be living it up in a field problem. This is a fancy way of saying I will be living in the hot assed woods in the middle of the hot assed summer for the remainder of this hot assed week. Bullocks.
There is this girl in my OBC I desire to hate fuck if only because she is so stupid I hope the spasmodic orgasm's will wake her intellective abilities the fuck up. That and she has legs as long as my car.
It really is amazing how little attention I am paid by the opposite sex. I can't even get the girl at Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers to give me extra fries. I'll bet I could win some award. I'm not sure of the award. But I would dominate the voting like the peeps for Regan. Back in the day at least.
If you ain't reading Alfred then you ain't down with me. I put it to ya like dat.
I have thusly replaced all food with beer. I am happy with the resulting results.
You know what someone ought to invent? A portal in which I can jump into the future and figure out the lottery numbers. I would use the ever-loving shit out of this device.
Dios mio man I love this Tegan and Sara record.
I am tired. So you get nothing. Nothing to make you go, "Awww." Nope. Nothing like that. Today you get shit and you'll have to feast on it until I get back and write something to make you think of me while you fuck his brains out. Or to think of Steve McQueen while she rides your jalopy until the tires go flat. Or think of me while you fuck her mouth and wish it were her friend and she wishes you were an ice cream sandwich. Or think of him saying my words while he fucks your sister. Or even possibly thinking of me while you pleasure yourself and I live in the woods dreaming of beer.