Decapitated Orgasms

Right. Did it ever occur to you that I might just be spending time, as of late, fighting crime on a level so secret that space aliens don't even know about it? I fight intradiminsional crime here people. Accept it. These are things that we cannot discuss nor contemplate. But we can hypothesize, unless you already know, which you don't. But don't feel bad.
You wouldn't think that if a guy hadn't ate all day he'd have to shit. But here we are.
There are things I do constantly, and when I do them the result is me being pissed every single time. I also make a note that I should never do it again. Yet I do it, everyday. Why? Why don't I put my bottled water in the refrigerator? Why don't I empty the ashtray? Why do I forget to fold my jeans? Why do I leave CD's in my car? Why do I forget to always forget to buy paper towels? Why do I never make ice when I finish the tray? I hate that I continue to do this shit.
Are you gone?
I have a good feeling about this weekend.
You know what I suck at? Small talk. I usually don't care much about anything to talk to people about for a brief period of time. And even if I do, I usually just consider the person to be a moron so why talk about the baseball game with him or her. So I usually just sit there with my mouth shut. And people think I'm an ass for not being social. Well fuck that. They would know I'm an ass if I let them know how much they sucked. But I don't, I decide to be nice, and this is how I am repaid.
I just saw her again. We had coffee together. I sat at a table alone and across the room she sat there. She was reading some book I would probably hate. I was trying to teach myself magic. Not the gathering, but like slight of hand type shit. No one seemed amused at my folly, as I suck at slight of hand. Why is she even here? I sat there and drank my coffee. It was black with no sugar. I drank about seven cups. She milked one new fangled monstrosity latte thing for close to two hours. She just read. She knew everyone looked. She seemed bothered by it. How? How can someone be annoyed that another will take interest based solely on aesthetic value? With most people you have to get to know them before they become attractive. Unless you're like me, and your soul is black. Then you just sort of watch her drink her coffee and wish you were the binding of her book that she holds firmly and securely. She know how to hold the spine of a book, she's done it before. Her hand needs a book. It feels empty without one. It is in the nature of her hands. The nature of my hands is not making things disappear.