Think About It

Right. Today we got to drive around in Humvees all day. We had other shit to do while we drove around, but I will be very honest with you, I didn't do much of it. No, instead I decided to have fun instead. Most of my fun came through conversations I had with some of the annoying people in my class. For instance, today I was instructed that I had to lead PT again. Only it was raining, so I said, "Zonk," and everyone got to go home and get more sleep. Then the conversation went a little something like this:
Real squared away 40-year-old douche bag who acts like he outranks everyone (RSASYODBWALHOE): I think we could have moved under shelter to conduct PT.
Me: I'm fucking this chick; you're just holding the legs.
RSASYODBWALHOE: Is that the standard you want to set for your future soldiers?
Me: No. I'd like to set an even lower standard, but I'm too busy fucking your mom.
That pretty much ended the conversation. Then later I was talking with my Captain on account of the test I failed the fuck out of Monday. The conversation went as follows:
Captain Ass Hat: So...uuuhhh...with your education...uuuhhh...and...uuuhhh...scores on previous tests, there is no way…uuuhhh...you should be...uuuhhh...failing tests.
Me: Yes sir, I haven't had math since high school and all of this stuff was a little too much for me to grasp in one week.
Captain Ass Hat: Yes...well...uuuhhhh...I mean...uuuhhh...I got a 100% when I took it.
Me: I suppose I am not as smart as you sir.
Captain Ass Hat: Well...uhhh...I don't think that's it.
Me: Yes sir, me neither.
I was surprised when he got the insult and ended our conversation. I hate my Captain by the way.
Then we were out in the Humvees and I’ll be damned if this one ball-bag didn't try to pull some stupid shit in one. He ended up crashing it into a tree. Here is our conversation highlight:
Me: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Mario: It was an accident.
Me: How? You were doing 60 and tried to make a 90-degree turn. Ass clown.
Mario: Aww shit. The fucking grill is all dicked up.
Me: You better unfuck this.
Mario: How am I going to do that?
Me: I don't give a frog’s fat ass. Just fucking do it moron.
Mario: I think we should call Captain Ass Hat.
Me: I have your Captain…In my pants.
All In all, today was a good day.