12 September 2005

Put It In Your Mouth

Right. Click hizzle for the best thizzle you'll ever rizzle. Word. If the post is the most, we must boast.
I bought some fucked up assed porno on my way from the baseball game back to my current residence. It's fucked up. These chicks fuck each other with guns, like actual weapons in the pussy, and they scream at each other and they gag and puke all over the place. I call it family programming.
There is this kid who lives down the hall from me. He seems like a nice guy I guess. He is quite and doesn't bother anyone, so I really like him actually. There is one way to get me to like you, it's to shut the fuck up and not talk to me about stupid shit. Anyway, dude is a nice guy. He's corpulent, but not too bad. Well last night he needed help studying for this test we had today. He should have thought about asking me for help on account of I am pretty sure I will have to retake it, as I am pretty sure I failed the fuck out of it. I will find out tomorrow. But that is neither here nor there. Anyway, my man and I are going over this shit and he is all like, "Hey Larry." Larry may or may not be my name. Just pay attention to the fucking story. "What's it like to always be so happy and funny?" I reply with, "Can we forget about the Taster's Choice moment and study for the test?" Wrong. He then broke down and told me all this fucked up shit about his life. He has been either anorexic or suffering from bulimia nervosa for the better part of his whole life. He can't lose weight either. He apparently hasn't eaten in like four weeks, and he works out twice a day and he gains fat daily. He also told me all this crazy shit about his mom passing away when he was 11 and his dad was molesting his sister. He tried to stop his father and was put in the hospital. He signed up for ROTC in hopes he could lose weight in the Army and learn discipline and all so he wouldn't fuck his kids up and maybe he could help his sister. I felt like such a shit because I didn't know what to say. I can't make it all better. I don't know Doc Brown and the only guy I ever knew with a Delorean sold it years ago. I can't kill your father. I don't know why you aren't losing weight. I am helpless. I hated him for making me feel that way. I am such an ass. Here this kid has it worse than me and I hate him for inconveniencing me with the burden of knowing his hardships. What the fuck his wrong with me?

4 Comments:

Blogger Erika said...

Larry is it...
I'm thinking of making an anonymous blog too. I think it would be relieving to vent to no one about everyhthing and have no one get offended. Plus it doesn't get back to the person I'm venting about.
ps- the second to last line... I hear ya. Now that you know his dirty laundry, are you responsible for making him feel better? I hate that shit too.

12/9/05 23:47  
Blogger Yossarian said...

do it. only tell me about it.

13/9/05 04:47  
Blogger Blush said...

the guy that lives next door to my parents has a delorean. maybe we should talk to him.

13/9/05 09:11  
Blogger Blush said...

dude. i heard on the radio once that this teenage girl got shot and was therefore paralyzed after getting screwed with a LOADED gun. sad for the girl, i guess, but how fucking retarded is that?

14/9/05 07:37  

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