A Manifesto Of Sorts

Right. This post is either going to enlighten, confuse or piss off the reader. There is no alternative.
I am 27. I joined the Army about one year ago after receiving my Master's Degree from Boston University in Government Relations. Government Relations is essentially Public Relations only focused on the government. I used to be in a punk rock clique called skate life. I was drinking in bars with a fake ID since I was 18. I would rather hang out with certain people than make love to anyone. I spend an obnoxious amount of money on clothes. Seven women have had the decency to sleep with me. I like to drink beer. I have known seven people in my life that I would call friends. Two of whom I have pissed off beyond reproach. Three never really liked me that much anyway. I hate the summer. I tend to hate most girls because they depress me with their taste or choices. I run two miles in 14 minutes and I smoke a pack and a half a day. I have strange eating habits. My favorite song is fade into you by Mazzy Star. I want the Houston Texans to make the playoffs. I drink beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I believe Keira Knightly is the best looking woman to have ever walked the earth. I would rather make out with Claire Danes. I hate country music. I like Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, George Jones, Willie Nelson and Hank Williams Sr. I hate the fact I love Star Wars.
I joined the Army because the United States was at war. I wanted to serve the country and then go about my business. I still have the same plan. What comes first, the country or the man? I have looked at a lot of evidence. I have seen articles arguing both sides of the war. I have seen intelligence documents, which would help both sides. I know this is the best thing I have ever done. I have learned a lot about myself. The Army has given me many things. I hate the Army because of many things. If the war is wrong so be it. My decision was made. My decision was made knowing both sides of the issue. Leave me alone. If the war is wrong then so be it. I do not care. Wars have been fought, at a greater time length and a larger death toll, over things far more petty, than oil, or revenge or the expansionist tendencies of the evil American empire. People I hoped to call friends have discontinued communications with me as a result of my decision to join the Army. I do not appreciate it when one side looks at me like I am stupid for joining. I do not like it when the other describes the other side as stupid for opposing. We are all just trying to go home.
If we are wrong about the war, or we are handling it wrong, then how do we fix it? I do not know. I only know that the best way for me to fix it is to be part of it. There is a lot of good to be done, and I wish to be part of it. We tend to look at ourselves and hate us. The media has taught us this from our infancy on. Some of us tend to expand this hatred to all that we are and all that has made us who we are. Some of us despise the fact that though we have the most freedom, we are still destined for mediocrity.
The only way for me to try and make things better is for me to do so. Complaining or disagreeing will do nothing. Buying a yellow ribbon and fastening it to your car does nothing. "Supporting" does nothing. My intention is to help people. If, for some little girl right now to live freely and happily, if that cost is my life...then so be it. No one can tell me there isn''t good to be done. No one can tell me the people are worse off now than before.
It's hard, that's true. What can you do? I never asked for support. I never asked for your approval. I never asked you for acceptance.
Someone will always get rich from war and someone will suffer. It's in the very meaning of the word. But I feel, and I wish I didn't because it would be easier, that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I sat back and did nothing.