Intensified Festival 68

Right. Fucking fickle people out there people. So I had this whole thing planned out where I was going to spiral into a pit of despair and kill myself. Well not my actual self, but my Yossarian self. It was going to be hot. I was going to draw it out over months and have comments on my posts about how I need help. I was then going to have a guy named Otto Quirk take over. He was going to recant apocryphal stories of the greatness of Yossarian. It was going to be hot. But I gave it the old 86. So now you will never watch, or read, the implosion of one man and the retold gory of his existence. Bummer.
Tonight we had our Dinning In. Which is all pomp and ceremony. We get dressed up in our dress uniforms and go through this ceremony and it's al a lot of fun. We are supposed to get all wasted on this crap we make. We have these rituals and procedures we go through. It is fun. I didn't drink and the food was terrible, but it was fun. I usually don't toot my own proverbial horn, but in my dress blues, I looked like the proverbial bomb.
So when she gets drunk she isn’t so snooty. She is nice, touchy. Feely. She hangs on me and breathes slowly around my face. She reeks of gin, which is how I like my women, she begs. She pouts her eyes in an attempt to get me to go out. Her hair is not within Army regulation. I want to fuck her hair because it is rebelling. The diamonds in her ears are worth more than my car, master's degree and the house I grew up in combined. She is flirty. I dig it. She makes herself available. I opt to go home to blog and sleep. Then I got it. Because she just lost her mystique. The vibe was there, but she has no vibe when sober. None. She wants nothing to do with me then. But now, it's a different story. The tempo has changed; this song is unfamiliar. This DJ sucks. How can a change like this come? It was the fact that I knew, I KNEW she wanted nothing to do with me. But now it's not true. She does, at least for the moment. Maybe I want more from her. Maybe it was just what I couldn't have before and now I can that changed. Maybe it is something else. Maybe I can't put my finger on it. Maybe she wanted to go slumming. Maybe I know that. But look at what I knew ten minutes ago. God her eyes are big. I love that shit. You want to know what does it for me? That's it. Big eyes. I love that shit. Big whites in the eyes, I don't know. I live for that shit. Fuck it. I'm going to the bar.