Sounds Fun In Spanish

Right. Some days suck. Some days you just wish you were someone else for a day or two. Some days you need not wish such wishes. Some days you are with the 99. Some days you are someone else.
This weekend was good. I guess. It a started Friday, as most weekends do. I was at a bar with a friend. Some guy waked past our table and set his beer down on our table as he proceeded to dance. I hate that shit. So I slyly took the bottle to the bathroom and pissed in it. Just a little bit. I dried off the mouth of the bottle and set the beer back down on my table. Dude came back and drank it down. Ha!
Saturday I got out of a speeding ticket on account of me being in the military and all. Then we met these two girls at a bar and convinced them to go to a strip club with us. We got to the strip club and the two girls went to the bathroom. Then we left. Ha! It's cool though because they had a car.
Then we went to a different strip club where I paid some ugly tattooed stripper for sex in the private booth thing. Ha! I don't fee too well. I am unhealthy. I despise my actions. I am all that I hate.