Festering Wounds Above My Eye

Right. I briefed a major today. It sucked. I had never heard of him before so I had no idea what to expect. I knew his name was Major Shanks. It's rather nerve racking to prepare to brief a man and his name means to stab a person with a homemade knife. It went well though.
I like to watch Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo while eating jalapeños and debating on who would be Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit, K-Luv or myself. Part of me believes I would be, on account of the fast car and all. But part of me knows I'm Snowman. But a bigger part of me knows that if the movie were Snatch, he'd be Turkish and I'd be the Pikey. And that's good enough for me.
So Jarhead is good.
I think a funny thing to do would be to get the word, "Truth" tattooed on your dick. That way, when some clown is all, "All we are searching for is the truth." That would enable you to inform and show that the truth is in fact in your pants.
Today the Army says goodbye to Specialist Courtney Hapablap. Hapablap isn't his real last name, but you get the point. Courtney is a good man. 23 years old is this amazing person. He joined the Army five years ago and left today. He deployed to Afghanistan and to Iraq. After he finished basic training he bought himself an Esclade. The silly son of a bitch couldn't afford to put gas in the fucker. He had 15 dollars a month left after he paid his payment and his insurance. As time went on he got promoted and raises but just sent in more money. He only ever spent 15 dollars a month. Now, his car is paid off and he has money for college. This has been his plan the whole time. He is going to Colorado State. I will drink to the kid with more discipline than anyone on earth. May God bless the path he walks in life and may he never run out of gas. I will ensure he has the road. My friend, the world is better place for having you in it.