I'm Down For Whatever

Right. I wish I could give this to you. I wish I could take this out, hand it over to you and be done with it. I wish I could watch how you handle it. I want to watch you scream it out into the darkness of the night. You can bore everyone else with it. You can receive the looks and comments. I wish I could rid myself of this love.
I don't want this anymore. It isn't for me. It's too much. You can have it. Run with it. Live with it. It is now your burden and you must carry it because I am through. You do it. I don't know how to anymore. I lost the desire to live with this long ago, I've been faking it ever since. You use it. I'm done.
You must forge forward and pass this on. Give it to someone else when you are tired of it. I want to know how long you can live with it. Tell them about it. Tell them how your joy makes you suffer. Tell them how with this, happiness is carrot inside a brass ring always on the next rung of the ladder. Tell them how the journey seems worth it. Show them the weariness on your face. Show them the compression on your spine. Then you can unload this and walk upright.
I want you to have this because I am not strong enough to carry it. I am limited by my own desires. I desire things I am not afforded, things impossible to attain when holding this. I must stand proud in the vulture's line of sight. I want to bask in the sun near the river. So you take it. It's your turn. I have changed and am no longer of the ilk capable of such feats. Once, I could have carried this to my grave, but I lost the instinct. Through pure instinct I have survived this long.
I thought no one was buying when I put my soul on the market. But the destitute hopeless man with barely any clothes had more worth than he let on. In exchange he gave me this. I now give it to you. I need help finding what I lost though. I hope I don't need what I am giving to you to find it.