20 September 2006

Making A Dollar Out Of What Makes Cents

Right. Chad McGreevy is awesome. He rules. Chad McGreevy and I are going to write a book about the adventures of a female who is hot, smart, funny, rich and has taste. We will name this book, "This Bitch Doesn't Exist." It was Chad McGreevy's idea. He is so smart about ways to make money.
I want to have children. Well, not me. More I want a female to have the children; I just want to be there for the conception and raising of the children.
I bought this new strawberry scented soap for my lufa, and I must say I smell delicious. I usually go with the cucumber-melon bit, because I think Cool Hand Luke would have used cucumber-melon. However, I think Johnny Cash wouldn't have not liked a man who hadn't nor may or may not have at one point in his life smelled like strawberries, so I guess it's like the old saying is said, people in glass houses ought not walk around naked.
It seems the pope pissed off the Muslims. Good for him. Can I try? Fuck a bunch of Muslims. Ha! Take that! Let's try to piss of the ilk of the Mennonites. Fuck a bunch of Mennonites. Let's try to piss off the Quaker's. Why the fuck are you reading this you fucked up assed Quaker?
Would you like to read something funny? My last name happens to be the actual name of a brothel here in the greater Bavaria area. I do not get a discount, which is the unfunny to the funny. The proverbial rub as it were.
I am having the darndest time trying to get my car's navigation system working. Help.
So, I am "required" to learn one new word in German a day. Instead of learning anything I find a local and ask them to teach me a word I will forget in a day, thus I will only ever know one word on any given day. However, I learned that the word, "toussle," is German for douche-bag. I will forever know that word.
Her face is a poem. I can read it. Her smiles are the stanzas holding in the rhymes put forth by God. Her eyes are the window into the soul of amity. I look into eternity through the blue stained glass of creation. Every word ever created is shown through. Her hair is the flow of the piece. It bounces as it moves and waves as it curls. I try to grasp it but it is always out of reach. Her tongue is the medium upon which all light is transformed shape and every shape is defined. I use it as an incantation to meditate upon when she is away. Her skin is the paper upon which I feel, hold and sense. No face has ever existed before and no face after that will make men feel this unambiguous way. No feeling has ever been so equivocal. Mankind will never be the same after she is read. She will never be the same once I stop reading.

4 Comments:

Blogger xTx said...

fucking funny as hell and then the great romantic ending.

kind of like ending a comedy skit by a reading of romeo and juliet or some shit.

if you are gonna pump out such great shit after not posting for weeks at a time, then maybe that's okay with me.

20/9/06 10:12  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

things I learned in German class (15 years ago) and still remember:
kartoffelsalat (potato salad)
lebercase mit senf(some sort of sausage with mustard)
sonnenbrille (sunglasses)
"das ist nicht so gute" (that is not so good).
wo is die poof (where is the pussy).
Now you can order some food, complain about your sunglasses and find out where you the closest brothel is.

20/9/06 13:58  
Blogger unkind said...

Y -- you could just write about a girl who was just funny and keep the title. Or just had taste.

20/9/06 17:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are a shit ton of omish here. i like it when they wear nike's. does anyone wear reebok shoes anymore?
a little bit of time traveling last night.
how's the brothel?

23/9/06 09:13  

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