Long Way Home
Right. Hard Spun you are a fucking asshole. You have won 5 of your previous 6 races. You are a stud. And then I go and bet a sum of money on you to finance a job to Cairo and you fucking lose. I hate you so fucking much right now you asshole horse. You lost by like 2 lengths. Come on asshole. Run. Daddy needed to go to see the Pyramids. I fucking hate you you fucking stupid ass slow horse. Fucker.Now that that is out of my system.
Good news abounds this week.
Ol' stabby is now on myspace and is asking to be my friend close to 100,000 times a day. Great.
The dentist refuses to remove my impacted wisdom tooth. He has also said he has never heard of a zit on the underside of your tongue. He suggests it might be cancer. I popped it anyway.
I ran 7 miles at a 7 minute pace Friday. I was happy. I would have liked to have run faster, but it does seem I am fucking the rotation up. And rotation fucking up is strictly prohibited. I miss unkind and cocaine. I am sorry fellas.
The good thing about Iraq is tax free income for me. Which means my car will be paid off here shortly. Good times. It's like a game show. Avoid getting blown up and shot and you win a car. Am I in Japan?
What the fuck was that horses problem?
I don't blog much anymore. Mostly because I don't have a single thing to say.
How does one move to New Zealand? Is it hard, like is there a lot of paperwork involved? What kinds of women are there? Can I find a job? Do they have booze?
I will live in New Zealand if the answers to those questions are: show up, I've already done it for you, hot and sex starved, only as Prime Minister and shit tons.
Man, if those answers are right New Zealand must rule.
This book I am reading rules. I will send it to you. Because everyone should read it.
Labels: the greatest shit ever
posted by Yossarian at 10:14 AM
5 Comments:
i too have had a zit on the underside of my tongue,
its like an ulcer and is due to stress.
again, i too have nothing to say.
Right - I can vouch for most things except the intelligence of our government - the reason I'm telling you this is not that I think it might scare you off - but that I suspect it might answer some of those questions...
A few years ago the Government changed the drinking age from 20 to 18 (hell - why didn't they just make it 1 then the babes coulda gone straight from Mumma to Mexican Laybacks!) so on a Friday and Saturday night there are thousands of very drunk very underdressed girls staggering around the streets.
Rapes, indecent assaults, stalkers? No worries - they were already increasing the Police force anyway.
So now all the parents are all WTF were you thinking and wanting the age raised again but the Breweries etc are WTF IDONTTHINKSO!! and that vote got vetoed.
But wait - heres the intelligent part...
Today I read that underage drinking is such a problem that the Government is thinking the only way to stop underage drinking is Put Up The Price Of Alcohol!
Yeah!! Do it!!
Can you hear the echo around the vats at the Breweries as they whoop?
So - Yoss - your choice Man...
There's no Government like No Government...
But hey - if your feelings won't get hurt being called Fucking Yanker while you're walking out with some dudes girlfriend, said girls will luuuurv you Dude! It's such a small country that we're always looking out for something or someone different from the rest and even just the accent will do it. Man - you should see the Irish guys score!
And with your creds (army and all) I suspect you could slip in easy as a greasy hole...
you had me at drunken underdressed teenagers.
Quite honestly New Zealand makes the best Sauvignon Blanc I've tasted so far, Lamb Shanks (nough said), Bungy Jumping also very cool, Thyme grows wild so everything smells fantastic, skiing, mountain hiking, and vineyards, beautiful sights and Milfourd Sound. Seriously, I'm all for living in New Zealand.
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