Do Not Go Gentle

Right. So I was supposed to go to lunch with my sister today, but alas it looks as if that won't happen. Bummer. Now I don't have to listen about how great she is and about how I suck and am the worst person in the history of the world. I still feel a little let down. I mean I wanted to go to lunch with my big sister. But I knew it wasn't happening. She's like that. She makes plans or promises and can never come through. So I wasn't surprised and shouldn't be disappointed but I still feel sad. But I think it is mostly me being nervous about leaving soon.
Why the fuck do children love me? I don't understand it. Everywhere I go friggin babies can't stop staring at me. Little kids smile and want to play. I enamor little girls. I don't get it. I friggin hate kids. I don't hate them. I just don't like the noise. Yet it never fails, I go to the mall and I have mothers apologizing to me for their children pulling at my pant leg, trying to get out of the stroller to get at me or playing with me like I know them. I usually play along and smile and all. But I am thinking, "For Fuck sakes. All I wanted was to come here and buy a pair of jeans or maybe a stove and I have to deal with this loud kid whom believes I am a jungle gym."
You know the black guy on Sportscenter who says, "Cool as the other side of the pillow," around eleven billion times each broadcast? I wouldn't mind hitting him in the head with a pillowcase filled with doorknobs. That guy is a toolbox.