I Got A Frog In My Pocket

Right. So my brother is coming in town today to surprise my parents and also to see me before I go away for a year or so. So his reasons are two-fold. I suppose you could have picked up on that depending upon your deductive reasoning abilities. But I thought I'd say it anyway. Because if there is one thing I'm all about, it's clarity.
So it looks like I misinformed you based on a miscommunication. My man K is not mad at me for joining the military. I thought he was. What we had there was a problem to communicate. So Kenny is cool. I still love him like a brother. Why is it all the guys I hang out with get more women than me? I should only hang out with ugly dudes from now on. But then, if they got more women than me, boy would that be an ego blow. I might have to kill myself if that went down. So I can't do that. Because if there is one thing I'm all about, it's self-preservation.
The Cardinals better fucking win tonight I swear to god. Because if there is one thing I'm all about, it's the home-team winning.
I need a haircut. I swear to god I do. I feel icky. My hair is clean; I just like it much shorter than it is. But alas, I am broke so no haircut for me. Because if there is one thing I'm all about, it's saving money.
Did I ever tell you how I want to make my own candy bar? Well I do. I want it to be like a Payday or Nutrageous. Only I want it held together by custard. I'd call it, "Nutz-in-your-mouth." It would be awesome. Then in the commercial, I'd have big fat black women singing, "Nuts in your maufffffff...BEEYYOOTCHHHHH." Talk about a moneymaker. That's the candy bar I'd like to make. Because if there is one thing I'm all about, it's profitability in an over saturated market place.