30 August 2005

An Obsolete Vernacular

Right. Dry humping is the biggest waste of time ever. Maybe I'm old fashioned but when a girl comes over at three in the morning it ought to be for sex. I'm older than 14 thank you. Let's commence the boning.
Someone searched for, "Son of Apollo that wrecked his car," and he got yours truly. Weird. People from the Middle East also tend to visit my blog by searching for a wide array of searches involving the following words: fuck, children, horses, crank, swallow and porn. Strange.
I was thinking about how it must really suck to be one of those Indian guys who train elephants. You know about those guys? They are really into elephants. It's weird. Then the elephants get something like roid rage, only without steroids, and beat ass. It's entertaining to watch while I sit in the air conditioning in my room rather than hot assed India.
I sometimes just look at her picture for hours.
I want to move back to Boston. I miss that shit.
Fuck beans.
This daft twat I am in school with right now was a psychology major in college and decide to analyze me. While I would like to analize his girlfriend, but alas he seems to think I am crazy. He asked me ten random questions and determined that I am insane. The questions were stupid and the answers were honest but nowhere near crazy.
What's your favorite animal? The Hyena
What's your favorite fruit? Peaches
What's your favorite color? Black
What's your favorite season? Fall
What's your favorite sport? Hockey
If you could be anyone else who would it be? Thor
Elvis or Beetles? Elvis
Straight porn or lesbian? Cum shots and squirters, hopefully with some hermaphrodites
Democrat or Republican? Whig
Was Jesus a real man? About as real as Caesar
How the fuck does me liking peaches make me crazy?

5 Comments:

Blogger Blush said...

youre not old fashioned

31/8/05 06:54  
Blogger xTx said...

what's wrong with dry humping?

31/8/05 10:19  
Blogger Joe said...

Other than the Hockey answer, the rest seemed perfectly normal to me.

My favorite animal is the three toed sloth.

31/8/05 11:51  
Blogger unkind said...

What the hell? Hockey is awesome, ya NASCAR lovin' hooz.

My mom made peach cobbler the other day. I ate it. I continue to eat it. I'm gonna eat some right now.

Shit, I'm crazy too. We got most of the same answers. 'Cept for Hyenas, cuz they're filthy, and they kill lions. And because Whoopi Goldberg voiced one in the Lion King. And between Elvis and Beetles, I'd say, "Neither".

Who is this quack?

1/9/05 19:25  
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