You Must Respect It

Right. What day is it? Who cares? I don't. How long do I have left? I don't remember. Is it worth it? I believe it is. I heard the Pope died yesterday. I wonder if they will let me go to church on account of it. It doesn’t matter. Sucks though. Only two left. How long have I been here? It's confusing right now; I haven't slept in a while. I haven’t eaten in longer.
The good news is it stopped raining today. The bad news is that there isn't a cloud in the sky and the sun is beating down upon the area. All the moisture that accumulated over the past...however long we’ve been out, is creating a nice haze. The real news is that I am pulling a 12-hour security shift in a swamp. There is an alligator not ten feet from me, sunning his back. Snakes all over. I hate snakes. Fuck the serpent. Though I am a descendent of Hephaistos.
I miss things. Strange things. I miss beer. I miss sleeping on a mattress. What will tomorrow bring? I don't care. I learned something yesterday. I forgot it though, but while I was trying to remember it, I realized something else. I realized it, learned it, taught it to myself and now I know it. I know it for what it is. True. I learned it in a way that the hundred thousand I spent on education couldn’t teach. I learned it in a way boarding schools are unable to provide. I know it. Living in the intellectual towers only clouds this knowledge. It was inside me. Therefore it must be inside all of us. We must search for it. We do not like the answer. We don't want to know this shit. So we hide. Discard this knowledge as lies. We look down upon those with it. I cannot convey this knowledge to you. You would not understand and I would forever change in your eyes. This I learned. This is what the training gave me. Peace.
Will this alligator kill me? No. It will not because I stay in my lane. Am I the only one who speaks English anymore?
Word is that they might bring us in early because of all the rain. I hope not. I, we, will live like this soon. Rapid change. There is a reason for this, for me being here. The reason isn't simple. It isn't good and evil. It isn't governments and resources. The reason is me. It is you. It is the reaction and the stance we take. This is the reason for these events.
The thing I love about training is the silence. It's how much time you have with your own mind.