Attempts To Fail

Right. If I ever fulfill my destiny, it will be because of you. If I ever care enough about myself to take care of myself, it will be because of you. If I ever ride through a field on a warhorse toward a battle I have no chance of winning but every intention of fighting, I will because of you. If I ever take pleasure in quiet evenings with family, it will be because of you.
I was created and I developed, grew, watched, learned and paid attention. I was an individual, a strong man of principle, valor and recklessness. You shaped me and gave me purpose. You saw wisdom in the games I play, but provided rules by which to play. You saw the inspiration of the means, not the means. Likewise, you saw the end, and not the constructed end. You saw what I was really doing, and you provided me with tools to keep score.
A day will come when my games will no longer be played. This day is a day we both see coming. This is a day of accomplishment and sacrifice. I will submit to a test and the results have consequences. I will either pass or fail; it seems simple enough. If I fail, I will take sole responsibility for the ruins of civilizations. If I pass, I and all that I love, cherish and hold dear will burn. You have taken this test. You failed. You saw the ramifications of your failures. You have chosen me as heir to your once proud throne. We both await the test.
You once played the same game. You once pushed yourself in ways that didn't make sense. You once fought with love in your heart and loved with hate in your heart. At one time, you too created only to destroy. There was a time when you walked next to the divine, only to be forced to take the test. It seemed too much for you, and this is what we have now.
I look at you with envy. For better of worse you have made your decision. I know you dwell on your decision, but the past is like everything else...done. You have your regrets and so will I. You delight in your knowledge and celebrate that no one else will know what you do. I will no longer wait for my turn on the timeline and will force the issue.
I have learned much from you. I have seen what it is to live a life of regret. I have seen the weather on your soul and felt the tremble in your hands. When I am done, I hope to lift some of the burden from you. No one will miss me after my test. No one will know I was forced to choose. No one will remember this. This is now my burden, choice and sacrifice. I have embraced this revelation. I will hold its secrets safe and the erudition will die with me.
You have inspired this.
Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum.