17 April 2006

It Was The Blurst Of Times??!!

Right. Good question. Seeing how I just got back and now we leave for the field for ten days maybe I ought to answer. We leave Wednesday and we'll come back the 29th, so I need to get my shit together. But I will try to answer.
It's like this. I don't know. I guess one could make the assessment that the entire Yossarian/Army experiment is a test to push the limits of capabilities. When the challenge that was once feared was easier than thought, new challenges were needed in order to find limitations. When Yossarian doesn't know his limitations he tends to do stupid things that exceed his parameters of possibilities. Thus, I need to know what I can and cannot do in order to prevent me from doing stupid shit.
That's the easy way to look at it.
The other way to look at it is training. If you're anything like me, then you are constantly on the run from Spanish Conquistadors who are after the gold you've hidden inside your body. Or you believe that if the Apocalypse comes tomorrow, you ought to be prepared to live and get others through the bullshit.
Some funny things that happened in SERE: I sang Check Up On It for like 2 days straight. I broke down in tears begged it all to stop and gave up information. When the information I gave up wasn't the "actual" information the mental and physical beating continued as I laughed because I told them Bruce Wayne was Batman. This guy Mario escaped and was found and brought back. He continued to try to escape and I said, "Mario's a fucking psycho," a lot ala A Bronx Tale. I ate a snake and various bugs. The quote, "A night in the box," lost all meaning. I'm really glad it's over.
So on to more shit. I will be needing a job when I leave this here shit. So hook a brother up.
A certain calmness comes with having completed SERE. Now I will offer advice, advice that ought not be questioned. You must simply take the advice and run with it.
Unkind K-Luv – Bone the 16 year old.
Cocaine – Upon your refusal to get your own blog, use my comments section as your blog again.
That's all the advice I can muster. Aside from find me a job. I have been thinking about trying to work for the Red Sox or the Cardinals. I've harbored secret desires to work for the Pirates, but I know Unkind's refusal to move to the steel city.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

cant write a blog anymore. i am not creative. i just want women. working for the pirates would be easier, because red sox fans are a bunch of shit asses and cardinal fans span the whole midwest. this would imply that moving to pittsburgh would be a good idea. i dont know if this is the whole truth. i have never been to pit.

17/4/06 14:12  
Blogger unkind said...

Shut up. C doesn't want to move there either, he's just trying to piss me off. Keep antagonizing me -- see what happens.

I'm all for you working for a sports franchise. You've been talking about that for years. I say Red Sox, because Boston is dope and the MA Bar is reputed to be easy. They call it "Passachussetts", because law students have phenomenal senses of humor.

I vomited from drinking for only the second time ever last weekend. Y, of course, is the inverse of that, having only NOT barfed from drinking twice ever.

I miss bean bags.

17/4/06 21:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here is an excerpt from a study for yoss dealing with comparison of sexual satisfaction among nations...

CHICAGO - Japanese adults can't get enough satisfaction, but Austria's mojo is working.

Sex is more satisfying in countries where women and men are considered equal, according to an international study of people between the ages of 40 and 80 by researchers at the University of Chicago.

Austria topped the list of 29 nations studied with 71 percent of those surveyed reported being satisfied with their sex lives.

Spain, Canada, Belgium and the United States also reported high rates of satisfaction.

The lowest satisfaction rate — 25.7 percent — was reported in Japan.

The study was led by sociologist Edward Laumann, considered a top authority on the sociology of sex, who believes the findings show that relationships based on equality lead to more satisfaction for both genders.

.......

first of all
belgium.
word.
second
yoss to germany/austria
third
the appropriate yoss age group (ie over forty)
fourth
we should go to japan

only concern is what this implies for the ranks of the disrespectful/ hate fuck in our equal and sexually satisfied countries

19/4/06 11:28  
Blogger unkind said...

Also, I shudder to think what Germans find to be sexually satisfying. For instance: scheiss porn.

Speaking of hate fucks, I held the Bar face down today and punished its rosy, virgin bunger viciously with my law-knob.

Das ist meine scheisse.

19/4/06 19:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that is what i am talking about unkind

21/4/06 21:19  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know some shit that i dont want to read about....



duke lacrosse

22/4/06 16:04  
Blogger unkind said...

I know. You mean to tell me that athletes are accustomed to being treated like they're above the law, even though they're usually douchebag date rapists incapable of passing freshman algebra? What a world-shaking revelation that is!

Thank you, major news outlets! Thanks for flooding our info-holes with breaking duke lacrosse/natalee holloway tripe, while Darfur goes largely unreported. Kudos!

22/4/06 20:12  
Blogger Jaromir Blagr said...

i once went on a news-reading strike. this was in october and november of 2004. i wanted to see how long i could go without finding out who the president was. it's fucking hard

23/4/06 10:47  
Blogger unkind said...

I'll fill you in on what you missed: the bad guy won.

23/4/06 18:51  
Blogger Jaromir Blagr said...

That's a wonderful Saturn icon.

23/4/06 21:26  
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