I Ain't No Nice Guy After All

Right. I have recently been told I might have a Thantos complex and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I have recently arrived at a solution to which there is no problem. Life is not written and produced by John Hughes. No one talks this way. Nothing is dramatic, nothing is touching, there are no moments in life that remain as vivid in technicolor as when they happened and I do not possess the fire power to comfort my soul by ridding the world of trash.
I watched Hostel. I didn't like it.
Chad McGreevy and I are going to get drunk tonight and corn-hole us a drunk girl.
Don't feel sorry for me. Things weren't always this bad.
Don't feel sorry for yourself. Things will get worse.
When the concrete is charred and the grass is stained with blood I will smile. When the children vanish and the Gods of old return to vanquish the faith of the aeon, fear will consume your heart as pride will swallow my soul. The ensuing battle will destroy what I am in the eyes of the ilk. The catechism is for me to know that the reasons I will fall from grace are not an illusion, but my own previous actions. Most can make recompense for trespasses. I am not as fortunate. You will snipe from safety and I will shoot from point blank. You will drink what the old Gods offer and I will imbibe the ambrosia of the eternal flux in time. You will live and I will die, but you will never go where I do, I will be alone with her and when the cosmos collapses in itself she will protect us. We will reign eternal and recreate infinity in her image, giving the reincarnated poets of old new material and beauty to opine on. She is the inspiration for my actions and for the world to come. You are the soup of the day. I am the recipient of the entrancing benefactor. We will smote them all.