Too Few To Mention

Right. That is Orpheus. He played the lyre and sang. He could tame wild animals with his voice. He even made trees uproot themselves and follow him because of his skill on the lyre and the sweetness in his voice. A son of Apollo killed his wife, and Orpheus followed her to the underworld where he played for the King of the Dead. The King let him take his wife back, but under the conditions of the arrangement; Orpheus could not look at her. He did, and was torn limb from limb. His head continued to sing as it floated to sea.
Tomorrow at 5:30 in the P.M. I, the Yossarian, will leave for the next 24 weeks to accomplish Basic Training and Officer Candidate School. I am past my fear now, for there is no reason to fear. The past few weeks I have been ashamed of myself. I was ashamed that, for the first time in my life, I feared something other than God. I was ashamed that, for the past 26 years of my life, I have failed to recognize my own limitations as a human being. But mostly I have been ashamed that, until now, I had no semblance as to what I should have done with my time, and even now, I have failed to do it.
I will post tomorrow with my final post before being an Officer in the United States Army. I will continue this again when I get out of training. But today, I would like to publicly apologize and exorcise the demons in an attempt to bring peace to myself by stating, as clearly and as succinctly as I can, what I wish I had done more of. Not that I will be dead, but I will be different. And if I do these things now, I'll do them as a grown man with real responsibilities. Not as a young man without a care in the world. So while if I do these things now, the end is the same, but the means are different.
I wish I had made more jam and various pickled goods with my mom. I wish I had drunk more with my father. I wish I were less taciturn. I wish I had made love to many more women. I wish I had bought that couch I saw in Canada. I wish I had taught my nephews more. I wish I were more understanding of my nieces. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time in the basement playing videogames, when I could have spent time with my mom and dad. I wish I had told my dad I love him. I wish I could have made more people laugh. I wish I had bought the whole bar a drink. I wish I had gone to church more. I wish I had been nicer to my roommates. I wish I had invented the flying car. I wish I had read more. I wish I had been working out harder and running further. I wish I hadn't cried during Old Yeller. I wish I had kept in contact with more people. I wish I had been able to spend more time with my brother. I wish I had the cognitive capacity to understand him. I wish I had spent more time with Mike before he died. I wish I had told my father how smart he is and how much I appreciate him. I wish I had watched my mouth more. I wish that every time I got drunk it were to remember and not to forget. I wish I had learned to dance. I wish I had told Joe I loved him before he died. I wish I had learned to paint. I wish I had majored in what I truly wanted to major in, and not what I thought I could make more money in. I wish I hadn't wrecked my first car. I wish I had the balls to piss on the third rail. I wish I had given more money to the homeless. I wish I hadn't ever have gotten a tattoo. I wish I had helped my father more. I wish I had never yelled or lied to my mother. I wish I had let everyone in my life know how important they are to me.