Maybe The Bitch Uses Jelly Now

Right. A very good friend, the best of friends has come in town this weekend. The English language is neither sophisticated enough nor evolved enough in order for me to describe how good it feels to be in his presence. I haven't spoke with him in quite some time. Longer than my time in training I believe. I am an atrocious person for many of my actions in life, however my one redeeming quality is recognizing the majesty in him and allowing my actions, thoughts and life to be influenced by his inspiration. He is my Obi Wan, or Yoda, depending upon which Skywalker I am.
I-Tunes is the fucking devil I swear to it. I spend billions buying songs I either already have or don't need. Trying to rekindle a love for songs I loved growing up, but I haven’t heard in years is retarded.
I know the rims I want for my car, so send me three thousand dollars American so I can have them. Or get three thousand of your closest friends to send me a dollar. Either way.
I once dated this girl in high school that I find myself missing. It is weird because I graduated high school in 1996 and hated every second I was in high school. But she was something else. I found out she recently moved to San Diego or some shit. Maybe she went to Southern California. I am certain she moved to California, but I am unsure where exactly. Anyway her name was Erika and I pray she is doing well. I dropped the ball on that one.
One thing I didn't drop the ball on, as a matter of fact, I slam dunked the fucking ball so hard the crowd went home because nothing else could be so spectacular, was not sticking around my old tumor any longer. She was horrible. Or still is, if she even lives.
But all of that shit is moot, because I am secretly in love with Claire Danes, whom is also secretly in love with me be it unbeknownst to her conscious self.