It's LT Scratchypants To You Asshole
Evil has taken over like a Hecatonchire at a picnic. Yeah buddy. Not really. Life is uneventful. I heard that the video game "Dance Dance Revolution" is a recruiting tool Bobby Brown made in an attempt to find new dancers. It is kind of like that Star Fighter movie, only with dancing.
I went grocery shopping for the first time as an adult yesterday. Here is what I bought:
Fifty bags of microwavable popcorn
Milk
Gatorade
Pizza Rolls
Lucky Charms
Fruity Pebbles
Raisin Bran
Ice Cream
Crackers
Cheddar Cheese
I rule. You see that shopping list? That is a man's shopping list. I am going to be 27 next month and for fucks sake, this is what I eat. I am a shit-bag.
Have you ever really stopped to think? Like ponder what the fuck? How is it I got myself here? Why am I standing next to the refrigerator at three in the afternoon eating cereal? Is this how I thought my life would end up? Why am I reading the economist whilst I wait for sportscenter? What the fuck? What else could I have done with my life? What more could I be doing currently? Did all the choices I've made lead me here, or is this some next level destiny type shit? How strange this is to actually have the clarity of thought to realize that maybe life would have been totally different if I hadn't ordered the kosher meal. It is enough to paralyze me into never making another decision. Because every time you make a choice half your life is gone. Fucked up.
posted by Yossarian at 9:59 AM
7 Comments:
you just blew my mind.
now I can't decide what to have for lunch.
your shopping list rules.
nice topic
OK, let's recap. It was YOUR decision to attend college and get a bachelors degree. It was YOUR decision to attend grad school and get a masters degree. And it was MOST CERTAINLY *YOUR* hare-brained decision to join the damn Army instead of just using your education to go out and get a job.
So then...YOU LIVE IN THE ARMY CUZ YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB!
Now, if you could go back in time to the day you graduated high school, what is the first decision you would make that would put you on a completely different path from where you are today?
you just dont get it do you underpant lady?
thank you X. Youre aces in my book.
Oh no, man, I get it. It's just that, to wonder how or what things in your life would be different if only you had chosen to eat raisin bran this morning instead of fruity pebbles is a pointless exercise. It's an attempt at deep thinking, but disguised in metaphors. The question is - what are you REALLY saying?
you just dont get it do you
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