Eye Sea It In Us
Dear Yossarian, I want badly to leave my wife for another woman. We have a fine marriage but I do not love my wife any longer and I fear she may not love me. I have four children and I don't want to hurt them. What is my best course of action?
Mr. X
P.S. I recently found your blog a few weeks ago and I really enjoy it. I was wondering if you could inform new readers of some of your work you think is best and would best describe your style of blog?
The bloody hell is wrong with you people? Mr. X? Nope. Now you are Jason. Because every Jason I ever met was a shit ass, and you are one as well. Okay you want to leave your wife. Dig. You don't love her anymore. Say word. You fear she may not love you? You prick. The fuck do you care? You don't love her remember? You don't want to hurt your four children. I don’t want cows to change on a genetic level either but I will not stop eating steak. Ya heard?
We got this thing in the Army known as, "Fake it till you got it." See, a large part of the Army is being motivated to do whatever bullshit you are doing at a given time. Think of it like a woman's orgasm. You either fake it until you get motivated, or you fake it so well you fool your boss. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?
You want badly to leave your wife because you no longer love her. So fucking what? Whatever, look, you are a douche bag and I cannot help that. You don't want to hurt your kids. You're suspect and it looks to me the family is about to restructure themselves out of retards they got living with them.
Your kids will be hurt, deal with it, unless you'd rather be a fucking man about it. But I doubt it.
Sorry, you wanted a course of action. Take out a huge life insurance policy and go around saving people and being all heroic. Hopefully you'll die in the process and your kids can think their father was a hero and they will be able to pay for college.
Everything I write is pure literary genius. Read it all and you will know about my blog.
posted by Yossarian at 4:13 PM
14 Comments:
That is the best "man-answer" to another man who wants to leave his wife that I have ever heard. Once you have kids. Scott. Your happiness should be the last concern on the totem pole. You want to leave your wife? fine. But get prepared to pay heartily for your percieved unhappiness in child support and alimony. How happy will you be sitting in a shitty, dumpy-ass apartment with no furniture and sending at least half of your paycheck back to your ex wife? Not one relationship is perfect like the one you keep comparing yours to. and you know what? your wife is probably just as miserable living with a fuck like you who brings 4 children into the world and then figures out he isn't in "love". I WISH my ex husband would die before my son is old enough to know what a deadbeat loser he is. Then, at least, I can tell my son what a wonderful man he was. Instead, my son will grow older, understand that his father never paid a dime of child support, adn never sent him a birthday card. The children come first, scott, not you and your "happiness".
oh, and anothe3r thing. scott. your "other woman" will most likely NOT be in love with the man who sits in his shitty dumpy apartment and has no money. No money to go out, no money to buy her a nice gift here and ther (and us ladies like gifts, it's just part of having a vagina that makes us this way). Most likely part of her is attracted to the fact that your relationship with her is taboo, and naughty and you yurn to be with her and yet are with another. Once you're 'free' she is going to drop you like a lead balloon. And then you will be lonely, trying to get in bed with the ex wife, or masturbating regularly to the cold, crinkly pages of a penthouse. so you're lonely, broke, masturbating, in your shitty apartment. Get the picture? scott.
--meredith--
When I say scott, I mean jason. But scott, to me, is a more the name of a shit ass.
go ahead and tell him how you really feel.
hell hath no furry like a woman scorn for scott i always say.
what can I say? Yossarian inspires me in a weird and hostile way.
whats with the word 'genius' lately?
yeah bro, what IS your scene???!
im told my scene is a sunlit meadow. birds chirping. dew drying on the grass. blue sky with a smattering of small white clouds...but i like to think its gin tanks, facial scars and MILFs
that scene is nice too.
i've been meaning to ask you...what's a milf?
hahahaha
what ever you were saying i was into it, i dont know why youd delete it.
Awww, a shy commenter!
The solution to scott's problem is a simple one, albeit retroactive: never get married. Ever.
I bet none of you knew I was going to say that.
New Year's Sucks. You have to wonder why the best season gets all the worst holidays.
Keep up the good work
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Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP » »
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