Hey Look At Him

Right. I've said a lot of shit. I've done some things and I've learned whatever. I am in the process of giving serious thought to training harder and either going Special Forces, or to be a pilot. This would extend my time in the Army considerably, but I'd be cold man. The deciding factor on whether or not I say or leave will be if I feel the challenge was met. I'm not sure what the challenge is, but if I feel I overcame it, I'll leave. If not, I'll find something harder to do.
Which leaves me trying to figure out what I ought to do if I leave the Army. I'd like to work for a sports franchise. I might like to open my own business, you know - make my own hours because I'm my own boss, but as I have no real skills I doubt anyone would buy whatever I am peddling. I wonder if celebritiy women will pay me to bone them? Now there's a challenge boy.
I would ask for advice, but no one reads this anymore. I mean I left for a couple weeks unannounced and everyone is all, "Yoss? Never heard of him." Well fuck that. It's my fault though, it was a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a dope beat to step to.
I remember when I had it down.
We sat in silence on the edge of her bed for a few hours. I was looking at the floor and she started to cry. I listened to her cry and thought about buying new boots. She cried and asked what was wrong with me. Interesting question. "I'm not the one who hates you. You do," she said. And I have to live with myself 24 hours a day. I thought about how to leave without getting into a conversation with her parents. She just cried. I wanted to take back the shit I bought her, stuff it in a pillow case and exit stage right. I didn't. "What is wrong with you." I have done everything in my life I said I would do, sans stay with her. She made me a liar. That's what's wrong with me. But not really. I'd like it if that were the truth. No. The truth is, I refused to care about her any longer at that moment, but I had not cared about her for some time before, which made me a douche bag.